Deep Down Inside Her

hanya sekadar luahan hati

2010-12-03T21:03:00.002+08:00

aku bingung.

tiada lagi dapat kukatakan untuk menerangkannya

hatiku beku

bukan kerana takut

bukan kerana aku enggan berterus terang

buat apa untukku berterus terang jika aku tidak menipu.

tetapi mengapa dia tetap tidak mempercaya?

aku tahu aku sudah tidak lagi suci di hatinya

aku sedar

dia cintakanku, dan itu dapat dilihat dengan pandanganku

namun, tiada siapa akan tahu isi lubuk hatinya yang luka terhadap sikapku

aku silap

bukan pertama

bukan kedua

tapi ketiga kali

aku harus bersedia untuk perpisahan

walaupun aku enggan

walaupun aku sedar, aku sering memintanya

namun, tidak.

aku tidak akan mahu meninggalkannya

dan tidak mahu ditinggalkan.

sayang.

aku harus akur

jika ada perubahan di hatimu

jika ada perubahan pada sikapmu

walaubagaimanapun, aku tetap sayangkanmu

kaulah cintaku yang terakhir

5 months

2010-06-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

i felt so bad for not posting for the past 2 monthsaries...haha
kbye.

5 months..
it seemed like 5 years to me..
maybe because i never get bored meeting and seeing bby's face every day, every time, every sec, every hour...blablabla..

bby..
i know hiccups sometimes happen between us..
and i know..
i felt that most of it are mostly caused by me..
and because of the super duper tiny thing becomes a huge gigantic deal for us..
i'm sorry bby..
i'm sorry for the heart ache i caused..
i'm sorry for over-reacting.
i'm sorry for being a distract sometimes...
i'm sorry for being too sensitive..
i'm sorry for being selfish at times..

i'm really sorry..i'll try to improve ok syg?
guide me along, will you?

i love you bby..
happy 5 months love..
200610

here's a song lyric i dedicated for you..
very meaningful..
its from me to to you...
every word from it..

Siti Nurhaliza - Pastikan

Lihatlah Langit Di Atas Sana
Tersenyum Melihat Tingkah Kita
Selalu Ada Peristiwa
Yang Membawa Pertengkaran

Maksudku Hanya Ingin Yang Baik
Untuk Kita Berdua Dalam Bercinta
Baiknya Aku Buruknya Aku
Terimalah Aku Apa Adanya

Pastikan Kau Dengan Aku
Jangan Ada Cinta Lain
Tak Pernah Aku Terlintas
Niat Ku Untuk Berpaling

Maafkanlah Aku Sayang
Bila Belum Kau Bahagia
Sejauh Langit Di Atas
Kan Ku Kejar Bahagiamu

Biar Langit Dan Bumi Meruntuh
Biar Jasad Kita Tertimbun Di Sana
Tetap Bersama, Tak Ingin Lepas
Mencintaimu Ku Jadi Begini

when they are away for 2 weeks

2010-06-11T12:49:00.002+08:00

parents have been away for 8 days already..
and i already feel the loss at home..
whenever i went out..
whenever i'm alone at home..
even whenever i'm asleep..

as a daughter, i, myself, already know that 'enjoying' and going out when they were away does not mean freedom..but just for a 'time-out' for me as a student and as a teenager..

i'm a bit pissed off with the situation at home..
everything is all about the kids
like totally!!
i'm not complaining of babysitting them, but.........sigh.
i'm okay taking care of them if they obey and respect me as their aunt..
but!
they NEVER respect me, NEVER listen to me, NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!
BUT WHY?

i remembered.
at one point of time, i cried in front of my laptop, listening to Untukmu Ibu by Exists.
dont ask me.
at that point of time, i had to be alone taking care of the kids..
and at that point of time, i covered my ears upon hearing one argument after another made by the little devils(kids)..
i let out a huge sigh.
i never did that.
its been so long i let out that huge sigh.
and wiping the tears that kept tearing down..

consequences:
if i try to solve the kids' arguments, i tend to beat them.
if i try to be patient with their rudeness, i could get emo and depressed and all i can do is always CRY!
if i told my sisters about this, they would say "they're kids, they're still small kids!" *roll eyes*
if
if
if
if

if only i can kill people, i will kill..

arghhhh!!!

oh god,
friday, 1.03pm
i cried again.

after dying...

2010-06-01T16:39:00.000+08:00

ok i get it. this blog is S to the U to the P to the E to the R dead dead dead...

sigh..all the interesting infos were all expired as ive not been updating for too long already.. :(

ohwells..just gonna tell you what I did yesterday yaww...

went to Rihlah exhibition at National Library..
been wanting to go there but had to postponed that plan cos' it was a public holiday (and duh.it doesnt open during public holiday -.-)
so we actually went yesterday.
just a short info about the exhibition: basically tells about the Arabs in Southeast Asia and how it came about..blablablabla....
went there with my sayang and duh, he kept saying 'b, i nye name family ade tulis kat sini tau..jom cari'
ahahaha...i love him (selit!)
the exhibition was quite spacious, maybe because there wasnt a lot of people there. -.-
sadly, we havent completed 'surveying' the exhibition but we got halau-ed by the security there.. at first i thought that they did not allow any camera-taking but...because there was an event going to be held there.
grrrr................

so we headed down to Far East to fulfill my craving for kebab!!!
but still, i wanna taste my sayang's mummy's kebab..but ohwells, i was satisfied with the food there..
except for the cashier..
sayang was a bit pissed with the cashier..awww..bad bad service..
but i like the waiters there..very friendly and served us with their sweet smiles... ;)

oh yea, i forgot to mention.
we bought movie tickets yaww!!
guess what movie? eh eh eh?
we watched...Prince Of Persia..
yes, i know..i'm not a bit of a fan of such movie genres although i heard that the ratings was good..
but ohwells, surprisingly, this was the first movie that i actually dozed off during some parts of the movie...zzzzz...
plus plus plus..the movie theatre sucks!
LIDO 4 IS SMALL!! :(
the seats were comfortable but they were too cramped...grrr..

afterwards, we decided to head back home..
my sayang sent me home and we took bus 190.
overall, our date yesterday was a sweet and healthy one..
and bby, i always loved the last part..heheheh..
kbye!

pictures are up on fb yaww...
ok dont ask about the tudung part..
i kinda got the deep intention to wear it..
eh hello, with a sincere heart ok!
hahahaha

ok bye..i love my sayang Sheikh Muhamad Said

dash.dot.dash

2010-05-15T22:08:00.002+08:00

yeap, noted.
this blog is super dead. like SUPER DEAD!
i realised that i did write a simple draft post...wait. and when was that? i think around last month...!?? goshhh.....

ohwells, if i were to tell the whole lot of things that happened these past few weeks, that'll never end...and i dont think i could even remember it.dangs!

wait. i dont think i wanna post it now..

so this is just posting for the sake of posting yawww...

KBYE!

2010-04-11T21:47:00.002+08:00

Dear blogger dashboard, finally, i am updating.

gosh..ive been rotting at home with laptop that's

entertaining me..
and yes, talking about my laptop, my laptop charger has

been a bitch, naughty bitch! the plug just dont wanna fuck

my laptop..
s-a-d-d-e-d!

and so..i actually thought of going to Acer building last

saturday to change my laptop charger..
and bby had promised to accompany me.
and the damn thing was that they opened from 9am to 12 pm

on saturday!
tell me about it.no use putting an alarm if you keep

snoozing it.
i set an alarm on 8, so that i could get ready and meet

bby earlier..
and guess what..bby's call alarmed me..
he asked "bby, you tgh buat ape?"
and me "takde pape...eh skg pukul brape?"
its 920!!?? hahahaha...
then came the lazy part of us of dragging ourselves from

our sleep.
so we had decided to just meet up and chill..
so, i borrowed bby's laptop charger for tempo.
then came bby's cravings of ais kachang and watching the

movie Rec 2 -.-
and we actually watched it despite me being so 'eeewww-i-

dont-wanna-watch-horror-movie!"
review: the movie was a 'WOW!'..it wasnt that scary but

its totally gross and its like playing L4D! coolio!
but its a must watch baybeh!

and oh yes, before i 'bye' this post, gonna attach some

overdue pics from our second karaoke session!
yeap! we k-oked again...ohwells, having a sister that is

totally obsessed with singing..
went out with the same peeps again yaww..
and this time, we didnt realised that we actually karaoked

for 7 hours!!!
OMFG.
totally insane! imagine singing from 3pm to 10pm??!!
goshh...i didnt even realised it till sis nana told me...
it was total madness.
and now, i think we gotta take a break from k-

ok'ing'..haha..
and aniwaes...school starting soon too...haiz...
tell me about it. my thur lesson, that is, my first day of

school starts at 8am!! UGH..
aites, enough of talking already..
let the pics do the talking yaww...
adios!

back for posting.

2010-04-08T19:43:00.003+08:00

stumbled upon the blogger dashboard quite a lot of times..but ended up with the 'lazy-to-post' attitude!

and btw, i think i realised that i'm no more close to my parents anymore..
i dont know why..but its like months since i go out with them cos' kept going out with sisters and friends..ohwells, only we, family, knows the reason..k nvm.

so good friday fall on....friday, duh!
and on the friday itself, me and my sis and her gang(her children) 'ran away' from home for JB.
we went with sis' friend, Mumtaz.
decided to stay over for 1 day at her mum's house in JB..
her mum is a very open-minded person..oohh, i loike!
as soon as we reached there..our mind was like at the mood of -SHOPPING!
haha..ok not exactly shopping but going out to see some interested stuffs there..
reached home around 7 plus..
rest for a while and then went out again..
went to Pandan market..
and i was surprised that theres such thing as 'Leeches therapy'!!
my sis wanted to try it but she was like 'eee...i nak try tapi geli!!' -.-
sis Mumtaz did it..
and i saw the leeches stucked on to her leg..and watching it sucked her blood! ugh..
and they said that this therapy helps to clean our blood..
but looking at the leeches....ugh, no comments.
sadly, didnt took pic of it :(

me and sis planned to ton at night..
just wanna stay up and chill out..
watched indonesian horror movie that we bought from the market called Jeritan Kuntilanak..
ok it was scary, i must say..
like duh, 2 mcm paham ladies watching horror films and we kept screaming..hahahah
so i slept around 5 and i woke up around 10am
breakfast...and not long after, i slept again from 12pm to 4pm!
hahaahhaha...buruks!

ohwells, packed for home around 5plus..
shopped at Larkin then get a car for home sweet home in singapore baybeh

aites till here then im gonna update..

i'm gonna wait for pics for me to do my next post...

adios!

2010-03-27T14:30:00.004+08:00

i changed my venue - from my room to the living room now.
why? pekakkan my ears from my nephews and niece arguing in my room..
auntie dont bother you know...

sigh..currently bored at home.
however i found another indonesioan show on youtube called Barbi3!
ohwells..for those who know the Rossa's song, Hey Ladies, well, that's the soundtrack of the show!
ok bye.

ok suddenly i realised that ive been watching malay old movie/shows youtube..
listing out;
Maria Mariana 1 & 2
Sembilu 1 & 2
Adnan Sempit
Bohsia
Syurga Cinta
Remp-it
Ghazal Untuk Rabiah

and first few parts of Indonesion sinetron, Ku Tlah Jatuh Cinta

and currently, Rock and Barbi3

mamposs...azah tak takde keje nak buat pe...?
haiyo!

ohwells...at least not to the extend of watching p.ramlee shows like Shaleh did... :p

aites..i think i wanna watch the show now..
or rather...if i'm too bored, i think i'm gonna post again...
so lets wait and see yeaa....

love.

and i miss Shaker..where'd he go? :(

i am bored.kbye.

2010-03-27T12:24:00.003+08:00

im hooked with Hello's song, Ular Berbisa..
nothing got to do with the lyrics
but the rhythm that is so catchy..

alright, today is a saturday.
parents gonna come back from their Arab lessons soon.
sister is preparing to go off for tuition
and...i'm stuck with my 2 nephews and a niece in my house.
oh god..kids!!

i dont know why some people would say "ape nak stress sgt? budak2 cute pe.."
ar pantat la cute..
of course kids are cute but when they are small..
as they grow...eh wahh...kepala sudah besar!
plus...these 3 nephews of mine are so different from other kids, in my opinion..
their fear factor is like over maximum of 100%
they are even afraid to wander IN THE HOUSE in broad daylight.
ugh, tell me about it..

and me, being the pathetic auntie, have to 'usher' them t the toilet..to the living room...to the kitchen..blablablablabla....

ok like nampak sah i'm so bored at home till i talked about this in my blog.
oh gosh..
so today, i think i'm off to watch the malay movie Rock on youtube.
so far, i've watched some on youtube..
so youtube, you have been entertaining me at home so far...
thank you, youtube..
i owe you a lot.
thank you.

ok bye.

3 days in a week

2010-03-26T22:58:00.010+08:00

ok so how should begin this post eh?
hmm..
k forget it.
hello.
kbye.

ok about today.
i went to my sis' crib at woodlands
headed there from home around 11 plus.
chilled there till 3 plus
then headed out to meet my beloved shake.
met him at cwp
went to macdonalds to grab some bites before going for the movie with shaleh AGAIN..
guess what we watching baybeh?
....
......

we watched How To Train Your Dragon!
ok. honestly, at first i thought this was a stupid cartoon show..
but but but but...it turned out to be C-U-T-E!
nice storyline.
nice effects.
and nice astonishing 3D effects!!
soooo.....must watch...i loike!

ok so about the whole week..
basically, didnt get the chance to go out that much like how i used to...
hmmm....except for some excuses and reasons...haiz,biasa bro!

so on monday i went out to accompany dearie to study at Esplanade library.
ok its quite a long time I went there after got together with bby.
teringat masa zaman purba kita together...spending most our time there together.
memories...memories..
stayed there for quite some time..
yeap. he studied and I read my library book :)
after that, chilled by the bay..
catching up...blablablablabla....
sadly, cant stay for long as bby got silat practice..
and supposedly, i'm supposed to come down to lot one to meet my gfs for nat's birthday surprise..
but sadly too, i cant stay out till night..
so im rushing myself to be home before magrib yawww...
sadded!

ok so went out merayap on the next day, tuesday too...hehe..
had fun yawww....
met bby at somerset then proceeded for movie.
we watched The Lovely Bones.
i was a bit of no-mood to go out actually
as i'm not kinda looking forwards for any movie..
and i didnt expect the movie was quite a worth-watching
but review: Lovely Bones is better than Up In The Air - in my opinion.
then ............we went to eat Ayam Penyet at Lucky Plaza..
and i felt sorry for the chicken..
didnt get to finish it..plus the sambal was spicy to the max..
and that was like the first time i didnt finish Ayam Penyet..
made me ended up feeling damn hungry when i got home..
after that, met up with shaleh for lepaks...since he's feeling mendaks at home cos hes not working..
so we ajak him out to join us..
headed to City Hall to go for bowling...
ahahahaha....all i can say was that I was making a fool out of myself there...
imagine looking back at myself bowl and being there was like so kental and kekeks...
plus, the stupid crappy jokes by bby and Shaleh..
tak leh angs!
so we had this deal: who won had to to belanja us Breeks!
well, we knew that bby would win...
hahahahahhaa...
but sadly, i gotta rush home.
and i was feeling guilty towards shaleh who hadnt eaten yet..awww..tsk...
ohwells...overalll....me had funn baybeh!

ok yaww..basically thats all folks..
just spending 3 days in a week could be so fun...
why?
because theres my bby with me..
with him, will never be boring..need i repeat that? N-E-V-ER!

ok attached ar some pics snapped whilw waiting to bowl...
biasa bro! we acted as if we were deprived from childhood..
huge difference to compare between our ages and our acts..
omgosh...

ok..kes kecik2 tak pernah pegang tembak2...da besar, nak tembak bende lain! haha..

"bang..jgn tinggalkan saya bang...da tak tahan sgt ni bang..." wakakakakaka! (tak tahan ape eh? u guys pikir sendiri la eh!)

Shaleh - "eh penat pe aku pose sorang power ranger? takpe ar..aku sorang je ar tangkap glamour.hmph"

Shake - "eh asal aku rase mcm ade orang nak bantai aku dari blakang ni? eh, tak leh jadi ni! kene bukak langkah silat lepas ambik gambar ni....hmph"

Azah - "eh sape tu mamat cute tu!? alamak,shake kat sebelah ar..oops! k takpe,action cool je...senyum je..."

'jangan jangan kau tumbuk perutku....!'

that all folks! kisah 2 mats and 1 minah DOL in Dragon tales..to be continued..

2010-03-25T15:04:00.002+08:00

OMG! i cant believe how horrible the lady in the video sing..ugh..
random much..
no wonder it rains...
hahahahahahah~~!!

love, love, i want your love..

2010-03-24T19:50:00.007+08:00

arghh!!
have to stop the 'i-am-lazy-to-update' attitude pls!
ugh.

its 2 months now.
and oh, it feels like 2 years baybeh!

and that shows how deep our feelings are...
and being with you is like forever..
alamak, feeling-feeling la azah, aduhai!

and oh yes.
i didnt realised that i was together with bby on our 20th, at exactly midnight.
and i meant together is like seriously together..
like we were physically together..!

yeap yeap..
spend the night with bby in his comfortable KIA.
and yeah, the 'people' were out of town.
so i planned to meet up with bby on friday, 19th after he went for his makan-makan with his friends.
bby told me he'll be reaching around 11pm..
but kriik kriik....no signal..
so he met me at the lift and ask me a random question , " bby, u maseh kempunan slurpee? da minum? "
and i totally forgot about my cravings for slurpee ( da lama dok tak minum! )..so i thought he gonna buy for me..so i just said 'dah minum'

so we got into KIA and ask me to drink up the drink that he just bought..
and voila~! slurrppeee baybeh! how cute was he :)
and and!
he whispered to me and said "happy 2 months syg"
i was like "eh belum la! niari kan 19!"
check check, 12 am kepe!
haha...oh cute moment!kbye.

sooo....he drove to mandai to do some catching up...
ohwells...perangai da lama tak jumpe la kire...

but seriously, being with him by my side..
without laptop..
without any romantic cande light dinner to celebrate our 2 months..
it does not matter to me..
cos' its you that matters to me love.
cheyh!

ok not gonna tell the details in between..
so lets forward to the ending part.hahaha..
went to yew tee macd for breakfast.
ok so why yew tee?
cos' cck is too near for me.
and we cant think of any other places for macd breakfast
ok so why macd?
cos bby had been wanting to eat the deluxe with me.
ohwells, think he ate too fast or his perut kosong or something, that he cant finished his food..
ohwells, me too. i was too full with the hotcakes..

so i reached home around 5am
sleepy? just a bit.
hehe

aites, till here then..
im gonna put up another post after this yaww BUT provided that bby gonna send me some yesterday's pics by tonight.....
sooo...BBY PLEASE ONLINE FOR AWHILE AFTER COME BACK FROM SILAT PLEASEEE...
adios!
and i love you Shake Md Said.

when there's someone that loves you

2010-03-19T20:49:00.006+08:00

ok i swear the title above doesnt got to do with my post.

yea i know ive not been updating for some time already-AGAIN!

busy? no
basically, finding the time and inspiration.yea right.

ok so like standard chartered, i spent most of my time with my dearie shaker ^^
did some catching up with him at Keppel Bay.
and and..it was always raining when we went there.hmm...
but but..i just love kissing in the rain.
ohwell, *flips hair* feeling2 spiderman scene like that you know! haha.

oh yea!
on tuesday, went karaoke and sheesha with dearie, his crazy friend named Shaleh-ah and my sister baybeh!

i dont know why i got the urge of asking my sis to tag along, but ohwell.
since my bby have met my sis, might as well as her to tag along..
alar, nak eratkan silaturahim la you know..hahaha

sis came in a bit late, so me and bby met Shaleh at Somerset..
chilled at Starbucks for a while, and went in first.
gotta thank my sis for booking us the room :)

went crazy throughout the karaoke session.
from paiseh to tak tahu malu
from biol to video recording
and and from melalak to mic almost spoilt-no sound!hahaha

alarr.....i still want to watch the video recorded frm Shaleh's camera...
but but...my msn seemed to be very irritating enough that it fails to receive the video although its like almost loaded completely! grrr...
ohwells, its ok..

but sadly, sis unable to join for sheesha cos' she meeting her friend.
and somehow...i think im too lazy to give the direction towards the sheesha place.hahahaha..
and oh yes, i think im in love with 2 types of fries..mcdonalds' shaker fries and the turkish's black pepper fries at the sheesha place..yumm....
and oh, that day we tried mixfruit.
review: O-K la...

ok baybeh..
i think my mind is running out if inspiration..
let the pics do the talking..
but but...these mostly are the pics i received from Shaleh-ah..
huahuahuahuahua....
still havent see the pics from my bby's camera yet...
ohwells, adios readers!

2010-03-10T00:55:00.003+08:00

RABAKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LEFT OUT ONE LINE FROM MY PREVIOUS POST!

....
.......
.....
.......
....
.......
....
.......
..........
..
.....
....
.......
..............
.....

(ok somehow, these dots reminds me of chain forwarded emails..)

LINE THAT I LEFT OUT FROM MY PREVIOUS POST :

I Love my darling SMS!!!!!

K bye.

the late update.

2010-03-09T22:55:00.006+08:00

dear http://raw-and-pathetic.blogspot.com/,
its time to get back the normal playlist.
yup, enough of the jiwang song for my blog for now...

gosh...its been a long time since i click the blogger dashboard to update my blog.
weird.
ive got nothing to do for my school holidays
and yet, i didnt set a time to update my blog..
sorry bloggie...
-.-

and oh yes..
i know its kinda late to tell this..
but im gonna say it anyway..
so im gonna say it..
ok im saying it...
be ready...
...
...
..
...
.....
MY DARLING SMS HAS CAME BACK FROM EGYPT!!!

ok no big deal for you guys..
but big deal for me...like duh!

so yea..the first time i met was when i went out my girlfriends, Ain and Khalee for Dear John..
planned to meet up with the rest of the babes but Nessa got something on, Nat cant go and Ana finished her work late..
so yea..
my review: Dear John was o-k...sad but dint drown me to tears...

so yea..bby picked me up with KIA from fareast then we proceeded to Mandai to do some catching up..

so on 5 feb, i met him for makanss...
but before that, i went to sis' crib at woodlands to let her watch My Name Is Khan on my laptop..

so i met bby after his friday prayers at CWP.
we headed to Plaza Singapura for Swensens and jalans...
and oh gosh...i love the lasagne....
like its been so long since i ate that...
and not to forget, Milo Indulgence..
tell me about it...=FAT!

so yea..
we chilled there till around 6 plus(i think!)
bby got his friends gathering...
and azah, the good girl, had to go home.

so yea...
and oh yes!
i watched Up In The Air with him yesterday at Illuma..
review: o-k....quite funny, i can say...
but i think thats gonna be the last time im gonna watch at Illuma, unless any other circumstances...
ugh.
yea bby...you know, i know....

but still...i had super fun spending time with bby yesterday..
ate at Tong Seng after for so long..
and S-H-E-E-S-H-A!!!
kinda disappointed theres not Apple Mint flavour..
but we took Apple..
bagus eh Azah, da tahu da lama tak isap, nak ambik yang strong jeee....

and yeah..the feeling was higggghhhhhh...hhahahaha...
k lame...
bby was cute when sheeshaing...
hahaha..
and my head was spinning about half time..
maybe becos i was abit unwell...
luckily i dint get to the extend of vomitting like what happened when i sheesha-ed the first time.
rabakkkkk....

so yea...
enough of the talking pls..
sayonara readers..
pictures attached yawww...

Data - Nyanyian Rindu Buat Kekasih

2010-03-04T02:52:00.000+08:00

Tiada yang lain yang ku cinta
Hanyalah padamu
Tiada yang lain yang ku rindu
Hanyalah dirimu
Dikaulah permata yang bersinar
Di kala ku kesepian

Tiada yang lain yang kumahu
Hanyalah kasihmu
Tiada yang lain yang kupuja
Hanyalah dirimu
Tak mungkin aku berpaling
Berpaling mencari yang lain
Tak mungkin aku biarkan kau merana

Aku cinta kepadamu sepenuh hati
Janganlah kau ragu kasih
Ragu padaku
Sejujur niatku niat bersama
Selama-lamanya
Janganlah kau pergi kasih
Pergi dariku

Kunyanyikan lagu rindu
Buatmu kekasih
Ku baca puisi syahdu
Puisi kita...
Ku ingin kau di sampingku
Untuk sama-sama
Melayarkan bahtera cinta yang terbina
Oh! Kekasih... dengarkanlah
Bila aku tersiksa kaulah penawarnya
Bila kau terluka akulah penyembuhnya
Kita sama-sama sudah jatuh hati jatuh cinta...

Tiada yang lain yang ku cinta
Hanyalah padamu
Tiada yang lain yang ku rindu
Hanyalah dirimu
Dikaulah permata yang bersinar
Dikala ku kesepian

Tiada yang lain yang kumahu
Hanyalah kasihmu
Tiada yang lain yang kupuja
Hanyalah dirimu
Tak mungkin aku berpaling
Berpaling mencari yang lain
Tak mungkin aku biarkan kau merana...

-

2010-03-04T02:28:00.002+08:00

its all my fault.

its my fault for being a bad influence to you.

its my fault for being a bad girl to you.

and its because of me you were not trusted by them anymore.

and its because of me..

i dont know why am i always experiencing this.

i dont know why am i always in this type of complications.

hope i can stay strong.

hope that i can endure this alone since i got no one besides my sayang.

i am terribly sorry for what happened.

i dont want to change to someone that i'm not.

i am afraid that your bimbingan wont work.

i am very sorry.

sometimes, i always ask myself, did he pick the right girlfriend for choosing me?

or am i being the insecure one.

sigh.

i miss my friends.

2010-02-28T15:05:00.007+08:00

this is a super random post
inspired from a boring and nothing-to-do feeling mode
yea i know, i cant be missing only my SMS.
but god knows how i really miss my beloved darling friends
sigh.

ok i know.
i just met her like last week.
but yea.
i kinda miss her jokes. her laughable lame jokes.
been with her since secondary school.
yup.
if i were to reminisce how we became close, it was seriously funny..
well, god knows, i know, you know.
i know she's been handling complications regarding these human beings called guys..jerks..etc.
well babe, i know you can do it.
life is always full of ups and downs.
happy and sad.
there might be hidden meaning in what happens in our life.
smile :)

this hot babe.
getting prettier..
getting busy..
getting hard to see her..
oh yes, should i repeat again, i am a bitch.
i know.
things have been in confusion between us.
i may not vent my anger to you.
and i always let it out with on my blog.
cos i know verbal argues wont work out.
instead, i may lose a friend.
and i dont want that.
we've been through a lot of things.
maybe not to you.
but to me.
i still miss you babe.
i miss us.

this too..
prettier now.
but hardly see her.
and i know.
she had also experiencing hard times too..
good thing that sometimes bump in to her around cck.
and yes, babe.
we have to go chillax one day.
even for 1 day.
we got lots of catching up.
like seriously.
i dont even know how you've been now..
goshh..
you are soo missed by azah.darn.

this cute pretty babe here.
just met her when taking the madrasah cert last saturday.
yeap.
i know.
although we just got close, its like we've known for a long time.
and yea, she's one cute biol friend of mine.
being her will always be the smiles and laughter!
i remembered once.
i was so pissed off with my jerk last time.
and you and khalee met me around yewtee cos i was pissed off waiting for that 'paitao' jerk
and yes babe. you did cheer me up ( and not forgetting khalee )
thanks for that babe.
miss you too.. meet up soon yea?
winks!

my partial mate!
gawd..i miss her although we just met last week.
congrats for getting your job babe!
dapat gaji, blanje eh eh eh
:D
i wont forget my 'bandung' mate
glad that complications have worked out.
well, if not, at least i see you smile :D
at least i see you laugh and being happy when you were with us.
glad to see that babe!
i miss you babe.
meet up yea..

WAIT!
dont think that i didnt miss the rest of my friends marn...
well, if i were to state down all, this post will break a record of the longest blog post.
so yea..
whatever it is, my friends will always be remembered.
even though i may forgot your name.
even though i may forgot your face.
still, friends are loved.

sayonara people!
love.

untitled

2010-02-28T14:44:00.002+08:00

ok that explains it.

i missed him

ok so that explains it

ok.

i dont want to text him anymore now.

w-e-i-r-d

Kbye.

2010-02-26T19:13:00.004+08:00

and i think Lot 1 is wayy better :D
at one point of time, Ana asked me " azah, kat sini ade wayang tak? ade arcade tak? "
i told her " erm..aku tak dgr bunyi arcade ngan bunyi wayang...so aku rase takde uh "
HAHA!
but ohwells, Khalee said BPP is still a high-class cos theres Starbucks compared to Lot 1
:p

so we ate at KFC
met Ira there too..
and yea, she's cute.
and Khalee is obsessed with her hair.
prettayyy!

so me, Ana and Khalee proceeded to Lot 1
and Ira and Fauzi went home.

walk here, walk there.
and went to the library.
and i borrowed a book
think i'm addicted at reading diaries..
and books that are more ragarding to teenager's life, sex and blablabla...
side not : serious novels?
:D

so yea..
and and yesterday was like the first time that I decided to go off early..
slleeepppyy...
so went home alone
while Ana and Khalee went to print stuffs at Lot 1

aites, till here then.
adios!
bye readers (if theres any!)

P.S. i miss you, Sheikh Muhammad Said
and i really do.
i love you.
and bby i'm waiting
love.

Best friends?

2010-02-21T18:50:00.007+08:00

i've got to be frank..
i'm feeling sad
wait.no.
i'm feeling pissed off
wait.no.
i'm feeling bored.

ok whatever.
just feeling confused.

i was browsing through blogs, tumblrs, twitters (which ive not been updating for so long.)

all i could do was to sigh.

i'm not jealoused.no.
strictly no.

why do i feel jealous for right?

i'm just abit pissed off with myself.
or to her (not gonna mention the name)

rewinding back to the pasts.
yes.i may be a bitch.

i knew she must have said that i may be flirting with her crush.
and at one point of time, i went steady with her another crush too.

i knew.
she told our friends that she was going to make me feel guilty for doing that.

and i was waiting for the moment.
tik tok tik tok ( eh bukan lagu keisha laa...)

erm nope. no sign of guilty alert.
instead, she apologized to me.
ok, forgiven.

like what people would say.
let bygones be bygones.
buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih.

and let me emphasize that.
B-U-A-N-G!
and
Bygones means;
past: existing or having happened a long time ago

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

ok its the past girl.
oh please.

ok i understood that you might need to confide to other friends instead of me.
ok i dont care about that.

but whats with the 'eh aku takot ar kalau azah nampak'
ok tell me what was that for?

what if i saw?
i'm gonna kill you?
haunt you?

and you know me well enough. (do you?)
that i'm quite an expert at knowing these news.
dont ask.
whatever.

besides..
girl..
i'm already ATTACHED.
let me spell this A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D
what?
you think i'm gonna scratch back the past and 'FLIRT' with that guy AGAIN?
no way!

i'm not that type of person okay.

and i'm not the type of person who patched back in a relationship.

but i do still in o-k terms with my exes.

dont believe?
i'm still friends/in contact/good terms with Hizran, Ridwan, Theo...
also to my other jerks...whoever they are(not gonna mention)..
i forgived them in such a way that i dont really bother about their life anymore.
voila~! they even got new girlfriends anyway!
but no. i dint bitch about them anymore right!

so i still dont get it girl.

when i met you in school, we hugged like we have not met for a long time.
but i'm the one always coming up with the 'topics'
trying to crack up lame jokes about 'mambangs..'
and blablablabla...

wait. are we even bestfriends still?
are you being secretive?

like what i mentioned above.
i understand if you prefer to confide to other friends.

but if we were bestfriends, is it even wrong to tell me?
you could just NOT mention that it was your problem..maybe i could help.
cos' we ARE friends.

we have been together since secondary school.
and now we are schooling in the same Poly.

i rarely even see you.
cos both of us been busy with our own stuffs.

we only went out chillax once in 2010.
but you seemed awkward telling about your updates.

you see..
do i even feel shy telling about my boyfriend.
and also, i'm not being selfish by talking about myself.
but i also asked about you too..
and i did listen.
like what i did when i went out with our girl friend whom you prefer to confide to.

sigh.
its okay darl.

i guess i have to play hide-and-seek with my feelings again.

yup.
the type when i will smile when i meet you.
but deep inside, all i could is to just S-I-G-H.

sigh.
label me as a bad girl
i dont care.

or you can just scrub my name off from you BEST FRIENDS list.

i dont mind.

bby. i really need you.
i got no shoulder to 'cry' on.
think i just have to find you photograph and imagine myself talking to you.
or i could sleep wearing your t-shirt on.
i miss you.
sigh.

1 month

2010-02-20T16:59:00.004+08:00

bby
i really miss you..
like alotttttt :(

" Hey sygku, i dah sampai egypt bb. imysm syg..hehe..take care bby, time diff is 6 hrs :) "

i had mixed feelings when receiving the text message.
a mix of sad, love, rindu, happy
:/

sigh.
its not even close to a week bby.
guess all i could do is w-a-i-t.

and yes, today is 1 month.
i love you.

Weird.
i browsed through your ex-girlfriend's pictures on our 1 month anniversary.

tell me why.
i have no idea.
sigh.

p.s. I MISS YOU
:)

i really miss SMS, like seriously!

2010-02-18T18:33:00.005+08:00

in just few hours time..
as the day gets dark...
as i'm posting..

my bby SMS will be going off to his Egypt trip.
sigh.

Yesterday i spend my last quality time with him before he go.
oh yes, we watched Percy Jackson movie again.
and and. bby bought me a white earpiece and he gave me his mp3 for me to listen to when i missed him.aww thank you love!
met him at orchard
ate at KFC and then went off to Lido for movie.

since i already watched the movie, i took the opportunity to hug my astroboy for that almost 2 hours.
and oh yea, bby got a new haircut! superly cute..cuter than me already..
sad sad, no pic :(

whatever it is, we decided to chillax after the movie.
i know.
i just want to spend time with bby.
i just want to look at his cute face before he go.
sigh sigh.

at first, we thought that we could get aunt KIA.
but but complication happened.
ohwell, i dont bother.
i dont bother to complain for transportation.
i just want to be with him, like seriously speaking oi!

so we took bus to Bedok Reservoir.
spent like only half an hour there.
then bby sponsored me the cab.
thank you bby.
love.

and so today.
i met him again.
i went down to his place at Tamp early in the morning around 9 plus.
i know i got low chances of getting 'approved' to get out of my crib cos ive been reaching home late recently :(
BUT!
surprisingly, mummy let me off.
BUT!
just for a little while.

so i thought i could accompany bby SMS for his jog or swimming.
BUT!
i told him i could only eat breakfast with him.
lucky i got my money.
so i spent a deluxe MacD breakfast for bby love.

sad sad. i just gotta to make a move around 12 :(

sigh. i just could not help myself but to miss him already.
even when i waved him goodbye at the train station.

while i was inside the train,
bby texted me " Hey sayang thanx for coming all the way here.. So sweet of u baby :) "
and i was listening to Chris Brown's With You....and my eyes got a bit teary

ugh. i miss you so much bby..

hope you take care of yourself there.
and have fun meeting the egyptian mummies ;)

i'll be waiting for you dear.

and and...Happy Advance 1 month in 2 days darling.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
xoxo.

3 more days?

2010-02-14T23:31:00.005+08:00

exactly 3 more days.
just like the indonesian movie on suria channel justnow 'Love is Cinta'
just that...its not about 3 days but 3 CHANCES for the hero to rest in peace after his death..

sighh....

dear god,

please dont make me 'over'-missed someone
cos sometimes i tend to 'over'-cry for that someone

please fasten the time from 18 feb onwards.

please enable him to communicate with me either through cyber world or using any tele-communicative devices there at least...

please make him miss me.
cos i will miss him even more

please make us 'over'-love towards each other.

please....

please....

dear god please.....

please dont change him...

i love him the way he is...

inclusive of his care, concern, desires and blablablabla...

love.

:(

Valentine's day?

2010-02-14T17:32:00.006+08:00

Dear god,
can i rewind back yesterday, Saturday, 13 February, 4pm?
:(

met darling SMS yesterday around 3 plus yesterday.
i was having a headache so that was why i took the longer train route towards City Hall.
still, i was afraid bby was tired after work yesterday
i was like 'takpe la...kalau penat takyah jumpe laa...haiz'
but but but deep inside my heart was the other way round..sigh..rinduu....

we ate at Burger King.
ok i didnt realised that we have not been eating proper meal since our first 'date' HAHA!

wth. i knew that bby was feeling tired and that was why he was indecisive on his decision
i told him 'b...u dah decide baru you bilang i k?'
haha. im not good at plans myself.
so i kinda need options so that i could decide for myself.

unplanned.
we went to Botanical Gardens.
omg, its been a long time since i went there.
haiz..
lying on the grass..
plus the sun that shines upon us..
plus watching the swan swam across the lake in front of us...
plus plus plus...
equal romantic la gituuu...

seriously, yesterday was awesomeness for me
cos i get to spend my quality time with my loving SMS
ohwells..whats the use of celebrating valentines day?
wait. ppl said that on valentines day, ppl show their love, care and concern towards someone you love, care etc...
but but...i love, i care and blablablabla towards my darling SMS every single day...
sooo....does that mean that i celebrate valentines day everyday?
huh huh huh?
ohwells, whatever.

dont care and dont bother...
yg penting...yg important...saya SAYANG SMS.
k no link -.-

ok la bye.hehe
:D

* seriously, i had fun bby.
pls forget the ending.
it wasnt bad.
it was just natural feelings.
people make mistakes.
pls dun change.
i love you the way you are

ps. i love you, Sheikh Muhammad Said

bby, I WON!

2010-02-12T22:33:00.004+08:00

still having the 'i-keep-thinking-of-Percy-Jackson-movie' syndrome!?
hahahaha...
but seriously, after watching it with Khalee yesterday, I still watch the trailers on youtube
ZOMG!
and definitely, the movie was a super duper definite the best that ive watched.
better than harry potter? ahah! YEAH BAYBEH! cos the hero looks soooooo much cuter than hairy potter... :D

okok azah stop it eh eh eh ...

ok so today was like the last day of UT
it was like the first time that i left early for UT.
seriously, i wrote shits in there.
god knows how much shit efforts that ive wasted on DMA UT.haha!
met natt while i was otw to CWP.
ask her to tag along to meet me and khalee...
but.....she cant....aiya!

so i met khalee on train towards Yishun..
she ask to meet at the last cabin.
but i think i was too slenge that i went to the first cabin..
and both of us met inside the train at the middle cabin..
alalala...romantic la gituuu...ahahaha!
so we headed to northpoint.

stepping into yishun...
entering northpoint...
memories...memories..
funny memories....
or can i say the 'kantoi' memories...
the memories that i lay my hands on a jerk!muahahahahaha....

so we surveyed northpoint..
ate Special Nasi Pattaya at the foodcourt there.
ok whats so special about it anyway...
but its the first time of me eating that with soup.
ok..azah big deal eh eh eh..? :p

ohwells..temptation temptation...
most shirts costing around 22 bucks...
ugh...
if only.....
argh! :(

we headed to the library..
looks kinda small...
but it was quite big..

darling SMS arrived around 4 plus.
aww....he was cute wearing those pants..hehehe!
alar...paiseh kepe...?

:( bby lied that he had eaten already...
check check : he had only eaten bread in the morning!
ugh.. 'recommend' him the pattaya rice.
ar bagus la....beli tak check harga..haiyo!
and and khalee bought cheese fries..
gosh....im soooo gonna be fat mannn....

make a move around 6pm.
bby to bus interchange for Hadrah
me and khalee towards MRT.duh!

reached home kinda early today..
ate laksa at home too..
gemokss....

ok laaa thats all for the talkings...
i want to pee.....
ok takyah bilang.
k bye.

and yes bby. I WON!!!!!!
wooohoooo....

Love Insanity

2010-02-10T22:42:00.002+08:00

gosh...i can feel the lemaks forming in my tummy...ooohhh....gemuks in process...ARGH!!

ok today i ate like 4 servings of rice and the lauks in a day!
plus plus eating almost half empty of the Mister Potato -.-

sad sad. no plans today
plus plus no UT tomorrow.
plus plus in the process of saving money..
so yea..been telling myself not to spend a single thing till i reached home.tsk.

for the first time i broke the record of reaching home around 2pm.
ate Mister Potato while watching the telly.
then ate rice after that
then dozed off while watching the telly..
darn...slept after eating??? goshhh.....

had my beauty nap around 3pm till 6pm.
got leg cramps after waking up...
checked my phone :(
awww...bby still at work.

so yea..basically thats all that happened today..besides having Creative Concapts UT justnow.
im so not gonna talk about it :P

and yes, not to forget!
i finally got that Cotton On shirt! yahoo!!~~
all thanks to my darling SMS.. *blush*
ok azah was a little shy at first though.
but all i can say is a super big munchie huggy thank you to bby for buying that precious.hehehehe.. :D

sayang kamu..

ps. i love you.

save save save.

2010-02-06T23:35:00.004+08:00

UGH. i didnt know that saving money could be this tough
the temptation to eat or to buy those shits are so irresistible!!

today(saturday) i had my communications UT
panic mode: need to be there by 1045 as it starts at 11 and i went out of my house around 10 plus!
test ends at 12
met classmates to study? eat?
ok i just accompanied them to eat as i have my darling MR SMS waiting to fetch me with his KIA.

ok bby was super cute and handsome and smart today.
i felt sloppish wearing just nirvana shirt and jeans.
bby drove me to bustop near his crib and i waited for him to ''send' the car to his bro.

and since I dont wanna get home early, we decided to go to City Hall to chillax while waiting for his friends.
ok awkward moment!
i felt funny though.
i met them when i was still 'solo'.
i met them when i was with that guy.
but now...
i am with a different person..
ahha..!

went window shopping with them..
goshh...suddenly i got fetish for guy's stuffs..
ok specific. guy's shirts.
sooooooooo lawaaaaaa...

and yeah....this all just makes me tempted to buy them...
i got like so many things in mind.
ARGHH!!

ohwells, i got home early today.
ugh.does that make a difference?
haha...

p.s. I LOVE YOU SMS.

sikap babi.

2010-01-31T19:52:00.004+08:00

i dont get it.

when i tell the truth, they said i lied.

when i told them i went out with my friends, they don't believe.

when i hinted their faults, they said i'm rude.

when i told them i had gone insane, they scolded me.

NOW WHAT DO THEY EVEN WANT FROM ME?

KILL ME?

TORTURE ME?

ugh. as expected, i got the fuckshit RP letter again.

this time;

Mum: wth? letter again? how come? did u come to school even?

Me: huh? oh...i dont know.

Mum: you better tell me.

Me: even when i tell you, i dont deserve to be trusted, RIGHT?

Dad: where'd you go?

Me: library. released my stress from people who dont want to trust me anymore.

arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boleh gila siak gini!
eh cibai, aku mati lagi baik arh!!
kalau menyesal sangat yang aku ni anak korang, taruk aku kat IMH lagi gerek!
Perangai konek!

*I texted bby SMS. he thought i was sarcastic. Im very sorry. see, i expected people could not survive with my sarcasm. haiz :(

Girlfriends chillax!

2010-01-31T18:58:00.003+08:00

had super duper fun day out with my best babes, Ain, Khalee, Ana & Natt !!

yeah..been delaying the Marina Barrage picnic outing and yesterday was like 'oh-finally' HAHA!

me and natt reached the yew tee platform quite early and we waited for the 2 princesses, Ana & Ain for like 1 hour? aiseymannn...
i brought cookies that mum baked.
Natt brought muffins..yumm...
Ana brought potato salad :P
Ain brought hotdog sandwich ;)
Khalee said she didnt bring anything...BUT~! she did offered to share the Mentos! alahai, cute!

Khalee arrived late and meet us there as she had to attend come Bursary shits.
so me and the rest of the babes proceed to go to the bustop to take the shuttle bus towards Marina Barrage.
oh fuck! i feel like killing the driver marnn..
and god damn it! we waited for the shuttle bus like for almost an hour!? WTF.

we really occupied our time there.
laughter.
crappy jokes.
and those lame shits acts.
oh how i missed us.

i played a game called 99 and Bluff using the poker cards with Ana..
just for a short time though.
Natt cant join us for the game as she wasnt feeling that well cos of her first day of 'red-light' that day.
well...Natt brought Twister..
so ape lagi? main arrr...HAHAHAHAHAH!
we had hilarious moments there.
all captured on Khalee's camera.
I won for the first round and lost to Ana at the second time we played.
gawdd....gereks!!

we make a move around almost 8 ( i think! )
actually planned to go to ION/ Orchard Central..?
but time was really getting on our nerves
so decided to take the train home.
except for me and Natt.
we dropped by Lot One KFC to grab a proper meal.

so yea..
i reached home around 1030
early kepe?! HAHAHA!
thought cik KIA was free that day but sadly to hear from bby SMS that KIA not free :(

ohwells, its ok...
i really did have fun...
thanks for the birthday wishes, girlfriends! love.
and and ..thanks for the gift from Khalee and Natt!
i loike the shirt! hehehehe..
:D

*more photos are at Facebook.
so for more information, please go to Facebook, and all the best searching for them!
HAHA!

Birthday O-M-E-N

2010-01-28T23:50:00.003+08:00

yup. that girl.
a date that she was born - 28 January
and today she turned 18
legal 18? thats what people say.

ok so wats with 18?
legal?
legal for what?
smoke?
sheesha?
clubbing?
sex in a hotel?
m18 movie?

oh fuck. whats the big deal of it?
ok maybe big deal.
now u might not be afraid to show off the damn IC that you are now legal.
ok whatever.

screw celebration.
bad bad bad omen to celebrate that girl's birthday..
theres always something that went wrong.
maybe not on the day itself but the process oncoming of it.
mother was cute but she got teary on wishing the birthday wish. hugs.
beloved classmates surprised with a chocolate cake
beloved SMS for the Santau movie. - scarryyyyyyyy doks!
beloved mum for the cute shits.
beloved sister for the oreo cheese birthday cake
beloved human beings for the great wishes that made her day.

yea and not to forget these assholes..
a father that didnt wish his daughter for her birthday.
a guy that macam paham that told her that he planned shits for that girl's birthday plus not even a wish?.
a non-existent brother who thinks that he doesnt have a sister to wish and i bet he doesnt even know my age.

~~ yeap those few..theres nothing else i can say.
perangai konek. sorry.
but i just wanna say..
next time, dont bother making shits promises.
retards.

aites. till here.
mood went down.
so was my inspiration to blog..

sigh. i hoped im not back to my temperamental attitude.
i felt so fucked up acting like that.
sorry bby for making you 'suffer'
:(

'grounded'

2010-01-24T21:39:00.004+08:00

parents went off to GayLung without telling me.
Sis and her 'crew' off for her silat shits.
soo...i told myself that i seriously wanna go out..
at least a step out of the house.. :(
eh pathetic pe azah..hahahahaha..

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt realised that mum took my ez link card along with her.
with her excuse that she wanna top up my concession.
gossshhhh....
dengki eh eh eh eh eh.... :(

dah lahh...
so yea...i'm being a goody girl for this weekend.
alahaii...hehehehe

and oh yea.
met bby for a while in the afternoon.
he went to his friend's house.
and he drove to my place for a while.
excuse: R-I-N-D-U!
he told me that its gonna be only for 15 mins...
ohwells....

p.s. i love you mr SMS.

deep feelings.

2010-01-24T00:02:00.004+08:00

(ok record-breaking for me : 3 post in a day!)

WTF?!
i was just replying.
i was just responding.
at least i got the mouth to talk.
rather than being a mute retard.

but all i got were
"why are you being so rude"
"whats with the voice tone?"
---FUCKING ASS BULLSHIT!

if these have to go on, might as well i refrain myself from talking.
or these assholes might also pray that i became mute
so they would not have to waste their energy to get pissed off with me.
FUCK OFF!

now i know.
a bad omen to celebrate my birthday.
or i could also say that 2010 is starting to become an ass bitch.

it started with complicating affairs and issues.
i wonder how i could survive in these 'events'..

trust.
is now no more.
zero.
none.
period.

i just dont get it.
whats with the people in my house?
are they going insane?
are they going retarded?
fucking what have they turn into now...???

i'm always the one to blame.
i dont regret.
i'm too used to this.
just blame me for the hell.
i dont give a fucking shit.
UGH.

boredom.

2010-01-23T23:02:00.004+08:00

gawdd...
bored bored boreddd.......!!!
ok for the first time this week that i'm feeling too boredd...

stayed home the whole day today.
and and and and i miss mr sms.
there's something wrong with my chest that i find myself having difficulty breathing.
got lazy to help sis with her flea market shits.
so i occupied myself with household chores..
and online updates ;)

random: i love videocalling with bby.hehe.
and and..the way we communicate was just by talking to the mic.
and yes, no typing.haha!
cooolliiiooo shits!

and yeahh...we have lotsa screen captures of our convo.
but i personally love the above pic.
CUTE!
hehehehehehhehee..

OK BYE!

*winks.
I LOVE MR SMS.

milestone 5?

2010-01-23T18:22:00.004+08:00

*scratch scratch*
very the itchy sangat sangat.. :(

aiseyman...'love' bites from the mosquitoes...
ohwells..guess i gotta bare with it..
arghh....gatallll.....HAHAHAH!

whatever it is..
i dont really give a big damn for those bites.
cos what matters most is spending my time with Said bby...my MR SMS

i skipped Creative Concept (again!)
reasons:
L-A-Z-Y!
S-L-E-E-P-Y...
and i know that i will have to spend little time with my precious hubby.. :(

but no worries bby, you didnt influence me anything.
i always have the urge to skip classes..teehee!
gosh...i motivation needed alert!!

i went down to Tampines
ohwell, i insist on coming to the east side..
i got too bored that i have to travel around.

decided to go to PARIS RIS park.
ok, it was unintentional to go there..
but yes, although i took a little sip from bby's tahue and half bite out of 3 packets that bby brought, i did not even feel any hunger at all..
each time spent with bby is always fulfilling and unforgettable.

sigh. we had to make a move around 4 plus.
each with our own respective activities :(
bby with hadrah and me with senior concert.
grabbed Ramly burger on the way sending me back to school.

waited for my beloved friends.
gawdd...i miss them sooooo muchhhh...
and seeing the bloco mates there just create 'trauma' in me :(

well...the concert was....A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
but..not as 'bad' as Jam & Hop.teehee!
had fun through the night baybeh..
UGH.a temptation~!

concert ended around 9 plus.
chilled till around 10.
tempted to meet bby and his friends.
ohwells..both of us do not want to take the risk though.
better to be safe baybeh!
and and..i dont want to destroy any 'reputation' between us
;)

aites till here then.
wanna grab some stuffs to eat.
ugh.I AM FAT!

p.s.I LOVE YOU MR SMS.K BYE.

rain.skip.

2010-01-22T09:15:00.000+08:00

Heavy rain early in the morning.
I stare myself in the mirror.
"skip? or go?"
gosh..why does it have to rain?
why must it be on a friday?
why roti prata price increase by 10 cents? (ok no link.)

currently at macd.
i kinda waited for the rain stops
but guessed...
gut feelings just dragged myself to doze off while i was putting on my eyeliner.HAHA!
and all i said was "wow, im late!"
haha..(emphasis on the "wow")

and oh, i just felt like sleeping at macd
eyelids heavy alert!!!

ohwells, im kinda expecting a letter from school.
sigh.
i wished i could retake my Os.
and really work hard for my poly.
i dont know why but im not really looking forward to 2nd year, studying modules related to my course.

sighhhhhhhh.........

till here then.
inspiration to continue posting got 'jammed' halfway.

so sayonara readers.

P.S. I LOVE YOU DARLING SMS.

and that makes us <3

2010-01-21T23:28:00.003+08:00

Had been spending almost everyday with darling SMS.
oh i love and treasure every moments with him.

gone partial yesterday
bby met me at civics library.
was surprised that he actually recognised me from behind. cos some of my friends dont :(
ok whatever.no link.
i brought him to chinese garden to chillax.
(gotta thank the past for introducing that place too)
* sori bby but CG is not like Mandai..hehehehehehe...(selit)
spend the romantic time there and fulfilling the precious moments of counting down the time for bby to make a move :(

and today i met bby again..
actually planned to partial for today's Cognitive but...
met him after school..at the usual 'Ratna' meeting point :P
was so eager to let him watch some vids that we ended up spending our time inside the library.HAHA!
ohwells, bby gotta be home early for some stuffs niwaes..
understand understood.

well, it seemed that it really does not even matter where we chill, eat, lepak...blablablabla...
cos' we both are always full of craps to talk and laugh about.
and that what makes everything interesting <3

yup. and that makes both of us.

Noor Azah & Sheikh Muhammad Said <3

sayonara readers.

I LOVE SMS

2010-01-20T10:47:00.003+08:00

currently in school.
erm. doing nothing.
haha..

felt invisible today.
it seemed that i only came for the purpose of grades.
today was Digital Media Arts(DMA) module.
i wasnt here last week and that is the super reason why i was not feeling interested and even motivated to try out those Flash shits.
*yawns*

UGH. felt so weak today.
mind not working AT ALL..
why?
my mind is just busy thinking of this ONE thing..
oh how could i forget.
i was busy thinking about bby..
hahahahhaha..
k azah mepek.
k bye.

200110
nice number for anniversary?
well, who cares?
its love that matters.

yes, i admit.
i told myself that its hard for my heart to be opened for any commitment.
ohwells, the special care and attention that was given was so irresistible
yeah, you.
i hope i wont regret with what i have decided.

i love you, Mr Sheikh Muhammad Said(SMS) :D

Just.

2010-01-18T14:50:00.002+08:00

City Hall.
MacD.
Skipped school.
With Sheikh.

ok bye.

Hey Saturday.

2010-01-17T09:15:00.003+08:00

Saturday - 16 January
went out with an excuse of chillax with my girlfriends..
i gotta apologize to my lovely girls for 'using' them..i felt so bad myself.

ohwells, life's been a bitch really.
ok, SERIOUSLY a bitch.
trust = 0
it was like my first time that these stuffs happened to me.
my sisters experienced it before.
so....does that mean that this was like 'finally' my time to deserve it??
i dont know and i dont bother to know.
i gotta thank my lovely human beings - Matiin & Sheikh for sponsoring spare phone and prepaid.
gosh..really appreciate yaww..
and although i already got back my samsung, i still cant even use it as the asshole had used up my prepaid to ZERO! damnit!
ohwells, i've been getting myself used to using the Sony Ericsson, teehee!

ok back to saturday.
went out with Matiin to pasir ris.
it was like the first time he finally got 'confident' to 'steal' me for travelling with his batu Nissan
watched Fired Up on laptop.
hilarious show.HAHA!
had to travel down to White Sands for MacD cos Downtown was packed.
had McSpicy..gosh...havent had it for a loooooonnngggg timeeeeee....YUM!
had some 'question-answer' and 'sharing' session with him..LOL.
yeap, it was random. Unexpected.
headed home around 9 plus.
been telling him that i gotta be home by 10..
haiz..boring.....
well dude, no more 12 to 1.DAMN!

afterall, at least i could go out on a weekend with a friend...
rather than to a kenduri..
HAHA..setan siol Azah.

aites, till here then.
Adios Amigos readers..

P.S. I MISS YOU.K BYE.

2010?

2009-12-31T19:23:00.005+08:00

hello 2010..but goodbye 2009?

sigh. i really wished that i could turn back time. if only we have the power to do that. if only i have the power to rewind the clock, the calendar to 1st of January of 2009....things would be WAYYYYYY different...

in 2009...

i experienced the least taste of teenage love affairs
i knew guys who love me for lust and affection
i knew guys who love me for sincerity
i experienced situation that makes me very embarrassed as a 17 year old ******
i knew the consequences of skipping classes
i knew the consequences of being on partial in school
i regretted skipping lessons for some shitty reasons

also in 2009..

i knew i had changed
i changed from bad to worst
i gave in myself way too easily
i was uncontrolled by situations
i lost focus on my own well-being
i was too dumb and gullible to believe these fuckers
and i ended up crying and regretting
but yet, still remembering this particular guy who had caused everything that started
and then, my friends are now having this impression of me being someone who dont really care for whoever new friends that i got to know
SIGH.

so here i am, being a normal person who makes mistakes..
trying to fix things right.
hoping that i wont be hurt, get hurt or continue hurting people that i really love and care.

therefore..in 2010
i have this simple random resolutions in mind.
I WANT TO CHANGE
I HAVE TO CHANGE
but i have dumb questions that keeps bugging me inside my head.
" HOW DO I CHANGE? "

well..
i have to take a break/pause in life
i have to reflect the things that i have regret
so,
i know i have to reduce skipping classes.
maybe some partialling should be ok (hehe!)
not to believe or being too gullible towards the unknown species..

so basically, i do not have fixed resolutions for 2010..
i just hoped for the best in my life in the future.

and yes, im also looking forward to be "non-illegal"

P.S. :
Matiin, thanks for inviting me to the pit. i had fun and nice knowing your friends.HAHA! i know they are full of crappy stuffs to joke about. :P
special thanks to the 4 lovely guys(incl.YOU!) for travelling such long distance from east coast to CCK to send me home. HOW SWEET!(yea i know travelling to cck is like goin to one other end from your home but what do i care for ur Hotwitch. :P
thanks again! ;)

Birthday? Christmas?

2009-12-26T21:55:00.004+08:00

Laptop’s currently in Christmas mood cos’ it wont log me in. UGH!

So I’m just creating a draft on my useless desktop and transferring it to daddy’s 'precious' comp.

So yesterday was my friend, Matiin’s birthday.

Oit! Getting old or whattt…?? HAHA!

Was quite surprised that he don’t actually have plans on his birthday..

Ohwells, so decided to meet up for J.Co and Sheesha..

Headed to bugis for J.co then went to Haji Lane for sheesha..

I was irritated with myself cos’ I was abit unwell so I coughed 2 times when sheeshaing but at least I introduced him the ‘transfer’…lalalala~~~

Ohwells, damn the place does not accept outside food and drinks..

So we decided to head to esplanade to chillax and eat the J.Co doughnuts.

Ok I could tell he was not that mature enough to even think that his stomach could not take 1 dozen doughnuts and double cheeseburgers….Haiz!

Ok one funny thing that we saw there;

A couple sitting on the floor at the roof terrace facing a ‘ligtning alert’ sign..

We were like imagining what their convo could be cos they may be admiring the the lightning signal in front of them with full concentration huh..? Hah!

Stayed by the bay till around 1230am..

We knew we gonna miss our train so we just chilled a bit more longer..

Gotta thank him for the ‘lecture’..plus sharing our past experiences and all..i really appreciated that.

I reached home at 1am by cab. Thanks dude!

Ohwells, great day out indeed as I straight away make love with my bed as long as I hit my crib.

Thanks and Happy Belated Birthday!

251209 ( Christmas? Birthday? )

Review.

2009-12-21T19:08:00.003+08:00

Marina at Keppel Bay - went there twice baybeh!

Review: went there with a friend.
yes, i keep telling him 'would it be nice if a guy propose to me on a floating boat here..' hehe.
its nice to go there during the evening till night.
plus the amazing wind that is always full of jealousy..
overall, a romantic place to go to..

so it was a sunday yesterday.
i went out chilling him plus plus fulfilling the promise to belanja him the doughnuts at vivocity.
kinda missed him during his trip to Bali so decided to meet up.
bought for him a half dozen and he spend on burger king again, HAHA!
ohwells, review for the doughnuts: not up to his expectations though! :P
ate and chilled at Keppel Marina Bay..

what can i say..he's so totally obsessed with the boats..
but i really love going there though..
made a move around 1045 so that we wont miss the last train..hehe (like what had happened during the previous day we went out)

and yea, thanks for the shades and cap.. :D

Sayonara readers..

bored.

2009-12-19T23:49:00.001+08:00

its almost 12 am
and i'm blasting my music out loud on my laptop speakers...

I CANT SLEEP!!!!!

ache!

2009-12-16T23:48:00.004+08:00

just got back from my IG practice..

and god damn it..i finally feel the satisfaction of playing the surdo drum ;)

we completed the whole song..
i was enthu for the whole prac..
and now...i'm having legs and arm ache...

gosh...i have never experience this pain feeling marnn..
plus plus i'm having the women's 'break' now...

UGH.

shit..i cant continue any longer..
have to give my body a beauty rest noww...

adios amigos readers..

;)

school vacation?

2009-12-15T00:11:00.003+08:00

Screw UT!!!!!!
i missed 2 questions and did not complete a 6-marks question..
sadded!

ohwells, gotta blame myself too for not studying extra hard..
plus plus i skipped school again today
but seriously, this is not on purpose!

the night before, i chatted with Shat and Put.
i asked Put to reserve for me the seats for tomorrow's team..
so the next day,
i TRY to prepare myself early..
but i ended up dozing off while 'make-up'ing...
haha!
and i realised that its already 815..
ohwells..
texted Ana and yea, met her at woodlands! lalalala~~~

intended to study but I ended up watching I Love You Beth Cooper movie..
i realised i cant watch that movie alone..
cos i dun find it interesting watching alone..
and i finally get the movie jokes when watching with Ana justnow..
-.-

aitez..think i wanna end here now..
wanna watch some more movies..
keeping my mind off complicated stuffs...

and yeahhh.....I GOT MY CHINGAY AND BE PRACTICE TOMORROW....
TIME TO VENT OUT MY ANGER ON THE SURDO DRUMSS BAYBEH!!!

:D

Catching up..

2009-12-12T08:42:00.004+08:00

i gotta discipline myself with school..
i just cant fucking believe that RP love to waste their papers sending letters for 'school-skippers'.UGH..
so yeap, i have to really really study for UTs..HAVE TO!

my UT1 was just QUITE well done. except for 2 modules...
:(

been catching up with girlfriends..
i went partial on thursday and went to chill at Khalee's house..
ok..i just wanna keep it to myself of what did there..oooo... :p

yesterday met up with Khalee(again!), Ain and Ana.
headed straight to library after my UT.

Azah: which section are u guys at?
Khalee: rooftop
Azah: (blindly went up to Low 1 roof garden, but no one!)
(Called them)
Azah: where you guys?
Khalee: library
Azah: thought you guys at rooftop?
Khalee: dont you get the joke?

ok, seriously, i was damn blur yesterday...
and i didnt get Khalee's joke for the first time! :(
sadded.

ohwell....wanna say happy birthday to someone who had turned 17 yesterday!

stay crazy, pretty monster!
Saye RINDU Kamu..

Hatred.

2009-12-08T23:07:00.001+08:00

i predict.

people might start ignoring me.

people hate me.

people hurting me.

FUCK.

Just for 1 Day..

2009-12-06T23:14:00.003+08:00

updating.

felt kinda sick lately but feeling quite better day by day thankfully.

actually dont feel like updating a long post this point of time because i'm still pissed of what had happened.

*once i got you, i'll be ready to fuck you off, Asshole!

BTW,

watched Bulan Baru(New Moon) yesterday at Downtown East..
all i could say was that i rather transfer through a hard disk and watch it on my laptop.
get what i meant? no? erm, nvm.

yeap, see that guy on the poster?
ahhh...*melts* hot per!?
i kept whispering to my friend:
"eh hot per body!"
"alamak eyes lawa sehh!"
"sial la..hot seh rambut!"

hahaha...i bet he's disturbed and distracted by that..but who cares...

ate at BBQ Chicken afterwards after the show finished around 8 plus? (k i forgot)..
nice food..
comfortable place..
comfy seat..
'great' price..HAHA!

headed home around 10..
reached home around 12..
i dont know why my body's aching..
but whatever it is, i had fun.
i wasnt bored.
hey, thanks for bringing me out.
;)

*well...like what me and sis usually do..take advantage when there's no government in the house..(dont get us wrong :D )

Insist on sleeping

2009-12-02T00:58:00.002+08:00

ok tell me why the fuck i cant sleep?

currently listening to malay emo songs(jiwang)...
ok dont ask me why.

seriously, my fucking eyes kept forcing me to get hooked on facebook games, check on youtube for more and more videos.
UGH.

im so fucking booooorrrreeedddddd..........................

Matinn.....Why never calll......???????

alamak....very boorreeedddd arrrr.......

**AZAH, ARE YOU EXCITED TO COME TO SCHOOL TMR?
ERM..MAYBE..?**

sori for this lame shit post.
when boredom strikes, that is.
;)

SKIPPED!

2009-12-01T11:36:00.002+08:00

currently at Macdonalds.
yeap, dats right. Azah skipped school again.
gosh.

was absent yesterday too because of damn stomach pain.
I could actually go to school but time dragged me to just stay home.haha..(i blamed it on the time)
so i did the house chores and all..
helped and accompanied mum to NTUC.
say my goodbye to my sis Azalea after she stayed over for past 2 days.

ok so everything at my crib was neutral.
just standard nagging from mum, dats all..

life? erm..
just dating and mingling.
i'm looking forward for saturday though.
gonna be the first time i'll be seeing the guy who keeps bugging me on Facebook!!
wakakaka..
hopefully nothing comes in between the plan.
and i'm super excited for him cos' his 'Optimus Prime' will be at the carpark tomorrow or Friday..? (ok which ever days..)

aite, till here.
will post again if i feel like it.
Hehe.
;)

Hairy Rare-year Core-Bun

2009-11-28T13:23:00.003+08:00

Happy Aidiladha to the muslim peeps!

but do you feel the aura of hair raya?
do you feel the holiness of hari raya?
do you have any sense of sadness or repent?
do you even have feelings??

UGH!

To mum:
what has got into you?
anything that we can help?
you seemed to be a non-stop talking clock (random)

Dusty Post..

2009-11-21T23:12:00.008+08:00

*wipes off this dusty blog*

omg..this blog is like mostly dead.haha.

well, actually i've gots lots in mind to pen it down here.
wanted to talk about the World Drum Night but it seemed overdue. so whatever it is, the show was a success and i super duper love it baybeh!

and yeah guys...i've entered Bloco (ever heard of it? - ok, its the percussion group who recently performed for National Day ^^)
and the exciting part is that we are going to perform for Chingay baybeh!! wooohooo....

hah. so it seemed i'm gonna be packed with a lot of stuffs eyy..
So...im just committed with my passion for music baybeh~~!!

oh yea..i went for Sheesha at Arab Street with my beloved IG mates on Thursday..
hope we have another sheesha outing again as some peeps could not made it that day :(
had loads of fun baybeh..
i thought i was a bit high till some unwanted craziness came out...shhh..hehehehe...
gonna just post some pics here as more will be on my gerlfren, Saihah's facebook.
well, theres some reason we do not wanna tag and publish ourselves :D

and yeahhh...i want to thank to my dearie Saihah for introducing me the theatre play at Nanyang Poly called 'Terasa'..
it was fucking hilarious and interesting!!! alamak i loike! hehe ;)

till here me end.
ADIOS!

*i hate being sick!

2009-11-15T21:17:00.003+08:00

Will update soon with pictures perhaps...

BUT.....

BEFORE THAT.....

WOULD LIKE TO SAY....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR KAK HASLINDA.......!!ahahahaha...

finally 19 eh...fuyoo...

alamak...kiter sayanngggg bangettt sama kamu sih... hehe ;)

UGH.

2009-11-07T00:29:00.004+08:00

I am trying to entertain myself with stupid stuffs
Youtube.
Facebook games.
Tagged updates.
Bloghopping.
MSN.

Nevertheless, I still felt funny
Weird.
Sad.
Hopeless.
Stressed.
Pissed Off.
Controlled.

I think I am confused.
I hate my daddy.
mummy? maybe.
Is it hard to ask "do you have any problems in school *sitting in the kitchen table with me*. Why must you skip school?"
*in a nicer manner please?!

ohwells.
so many things happened today.

School - I almost went partial today..but gut feelings said no.

After School - MacD with gf, saihah. she studied her religious exam (same as mine too) but I studied Cheeseburger instead.

Home - Mum threw me a letter when I am eating. FUCK. letter from RP! (for the first time) fucking weird.
I did not get any fucking letter last semester although I skipped more classes.

UGH.FUCK RP.

Religious CLass - Didnt study and never wil. Late but the first to finish it! weee~~~

ok dats all folks.
I am sleepy.. off to bed!
ADIOS!
;)

awwww,bby's so swwitt

2009-11-04T21:20:00.003+08:00

yesterday,
bby fetch me from school.
then he took me to his house.
he blindfold me,
then he hold my hand and told me to sit.

he took off my blindfold and
i was surprised!

a candlelight dinner!
awww.
bby kissed my forehead and told me to wait.
he served dinner.

he cooked pasta!
afterthat,
he on music and we danced.

bby pandai dance seyyyyy.
*ehem*

mmkay.
then we went chinese garden.
again,
i think the uncle recognise us seyy.
regular customer.

we seat under the dark skies.
hoping to find stars

guess what bby ask
"b, u know why there's no stars in the sky?"

i looked at him and ask why

he said
"cause the brightest star is here, you"

actually no link.
but he's sweet.
and i love him so very much.

winkwink

2009-11-03T13:54:00.002+08:00

i told bby to update.
but nvr update seyyy.

pfft.
to prevent this blog from dying.
i, Muhammad Ridwan Bin Abdul Malek,
S91XXXXXC, will update this blog.

bleargh, i made it look like such a big deal.

things happened.
but no matter what happen.
i have you,
and you have me.

thats all that matters.
you've been busy.
with studies and cca.
im happy,
cause my bby is so hardworking.
work towards a bright future mmkay b?
i'll work hard to.
and with god's willing,
k i shouldnt go on.

deep down inside.
i know my bby,
is changing.

if possible,
i want to be there for you,
forever and always.

i could be a jerk.
for no reasons.
i think its menses.
but apparently,
guys dunt have menses.

so yeah,
but dunt give up on me.

its with you,
i feel love unlike other.

thanks bby,
for everything.
ily<3
mwahkkxzxzs

sigh.

2009-11-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

12.20 am - tears. MARK THAT!

i dont get it.
feeling'less'

but, i love you

sigh.

another post by me

2009-10-29T18:22:00.002+08:00

ive nothing to do.
instead of updating mine.
im like typing weird stuffs at bby's blog.

lets talk about VEMPIRA!
shes so raddddddddddd.
shes hawtstuff.
. im serious, i melt sia.
shes lame.
. but im lame-r? =.-
shes awwwww so manje.
. but i more manja then a manja girl? *inside joke*
she just wont let her hair go.
. not as in let her hair go, thenshe botak. as in. not tie her hair.
shes my bby.
. and i love her to bits and pieces.

happy 1 month and 2 day bby!
btw.
hows rizahbby doing?

if you think im Azah, then you're dead wrong!

2009-10-29T18:16:00.003+08:00

okays.
it feels so cool to be here.

okays.
so for today.
im gonna teach you how to cook fat rice.
ps, its nasi lemak in english.

so first.
you wash the rice.

second,
ive no idea how to cook.
so pandai2 k?

k im being v lame here.
sry bby.

aiytte.

i want you to guess this.
if you get it ryt.
i'll give you 10 bucks.
for Azah,
i'll give you a kiss?
or maybe anything else u nakk..

kk .
fill in the blanks.

I LO__ Y_____

if you say i love you.
then ure SOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!

its i love yogurt.
damn nice.

mmkay im being v lame here.
sryyyyy bby.

ps. i love you(;

1 month.

2009-10-27T00:27:00.005+08:00

< BBY 'wrote' this exactly at 12 on msn! coolio! I love you, BBY.

ok, little things about yesterday.
i wasn't acting myself for Entrepreneurship.
ok simple. my mind was not working.DAMNIT!
lucky i have my beloved classmates to cheer me up a little ;)

i was a bit pissed with the faci.
ok i left my bag in class and then went to the it-helpdesk, but yet she marked me as late! fuck!
something funny happened.
i was at it-helpdesk.
theres only me and this guy with the damn laptop.
i kept sighing cos i cant log in.
he smiled.
then he asked: erm, whats your name?
me: Azah
him: (a bit shocked face) wait. is ur facebook azah vempira?
me: erm...yea....
him: so..you are Ridwan's gf.
me: (now me with a bit shocked face) ryte....so u are his fren!..coooolllll....

ok weird. he added me on facebook. BBY knows him. I dont know.
best thing. i didnt even realised that hes in the same school, same block, same level as me!
hahahahahahahaa....
ok so we chatted about BBY then proceed to our class.

ok today supposed to have Blocho practice..but it was cancelled suddenly...i think!
so i slacked for a while with the peeps.

boring plus a no mood plus pissed off day.

***so pissed off with dad. SO MUCH FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE. I HATE YOU.

~271009

entire fault

2009-10-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

ok its entirely my fault.

i did not pick up the calls
i was late
i thought i was trying to twist the words whether i'm gonna meet you or not
i gave u false hope
i kept acting rowdy
i refused to hug or kiss you just for the sake of public courtesy
i did not let you meet me today

my fucking fault.
i'm a bad luck.
just stay away.
i'm disappointed with myself.

~i guessed the weather knows my current mood.

p.s. can i love you?

cant sleep but yawning..

2009-10-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

ok does yawning means that someone's sleepy?

then why the heck am i still yawning but i still dont feel like shutting this god damn eyes. TSK.

currently so bored and just trying to emo myself with some crappy songs.

BBY is already asleep.
and here i am still on the net, typing a post out of boredom.

ok lets talk about yesterday.
one thing. i did not skipped school, not even a partial.hehe!
had communications module today.
i was not even in the mood to attend the module cos' of the faci....maybe...
one thing that i think i dont like about her is that i noticed he kept eyeing thoses peeps who are distracted on online stuffs during discussion.
and when she caught that one person, she will then targeted to that one person for questions.
haha..but when i came to think about it, its kinda disciplined to do that, cos' i tend not to pay attention as well.hahaha!

well, i got home quite early.
not till nite, that is.haha.
i was damn tired that i slept from 4 to 7pm ( if im not wrong)
haha! how coolio is that....

ok im boredddd....
and a bit sleeeeppppyyyy......

ok im off now...
lalalala~~~

p.s. i love you forever.

Adam Lambert's New Debut Album!

2009-10-20T23:00:00.004+08:00

Adam Lambert Announces Album Name, Lady Gaga Collaboration

“It’s official! My debut album, dropping November 23rd will be called ‘For Your Entertainment.’” Adam Lambert says in a Twitter message to his fans, thus revealing to the entire world the secret that has been kept well under wraps until now. And this is not all that the American Idol runner-up has to announce, as he’s also working on a new song with none other than Lady Gaga.

As fans will remember, it’s only days that Lambert was denying rumors that he was about to take Kanye West’s place in the joint tour “Fame Kills” with Gaga. Not that he wouldn’t do it, he was saying at the time, it’s just that no one approached him to ask for such a thing. Either Gaga heard his comment and decided to not let this opportunity get by, or the collaboration was planned but kept a secret, for fans should prepare to hear the two singing together, as Adam himself says, also on Twitter.

“Yes it’s true: I spent yesterday in the studio with the insanely talented and creative Lady GaGa recording a song that she wrote! I love her. Gaga wrote the song a while ago and she thought it would be a good fit for me. It’s a solo track. I feel so honored and lucky to be asked. Gaga just gets it, ya know?” Adam writes of the unexpected but not entirely surprising collaboration. In between tweets, the singer also says his song “Time for Miracles” off the “2012” musical score is now available on iTunes and Amazon, after leaking on the Internet hours before.

“Time for Miracles,” though, will not be included on the debut album, “For Your Entertainment,” as we were also telling you yesterday. “Recently, several Lambert song titles have been confirmed. Producer Rob Cavallo name-checked ‘Suburban Decay,’ ‘Music Again’ and ‘Winners’ in an interview with Yahoo! Music, while the current issue of Entertainment Weekly also cites ‘What Do You Want From Me’ (a leftover from Pink’s ‘Funhouse’ album, co-written by Max Martin and Pink) and ‘Loaded Smile,’ by Adam and Linda Perry. (Rolling Stone reported on a Kara DioGuardi/ Lambert collaboration, ‘Strut,’ weeks ago.)” MTV says of some of the tracks that will make it on the album.

~http://news.softpedia.com/news/Adam-Lambert-Announces-Album-Name-Lady-Gaga-Collaboration-124782.shtml

Things gone blurry.

2009-10-19T22:45:00.003+08:00

what??its still 10.58pm?? (ok, thats the time when i started to type out this post)
time passed quite fast tonight.
maybe because BBY wasnt online.
maybe because BBY wasnt texting me like he always do when he's not online.
maybe because i kinda stayed up staring at my laptop screen waiting for him to online.
OR maybe because BBY was kinda pissed off with me now instead.

ok i skipped school again today.
it was Entrepreneurship and i dont think i have the energy to attend the module afterall. ugh.
BBY was the early bird to come early and waited for me at MacD.
ok i told him i may be wearing my leggings and long shirt/dress..but after thinking twice, better not (inside joke with BBY) *kening naek naek*

i met up with eda again too, to pass her the epok2 she ordered from my mum and some catching up talks.
i got kinda irritated while i was at MacD and library.
theres this feeling of going to the toilet again and again..and BBY was like "again??" when i told him i gotta pee pee. thought i gonna have my menses but ohwells.

we watched Jennifer's Body on my laptop in the library
then headed to Orchard after that.
BBY wanted to refund his mp3 but he forgot to bring his charger.
moreover, he cant even refund the mp3 at that damn shop.UGH.

my legs kinda ache of walking to ION back to Heeren and back to i-cant-remember-where.
BUT! i love walking with BBY.
its like we're on an adventure or something. plus being lost with the stupid directions and all! hehe.
BBY's sis invited us to follow her and BBY's cousin(if im not wrong) for a karaoke(i think!) or to eat at FarEast.
ok this part. Azah is super damn awkward towards those people known as the sister, brother, mother, father or whoever. haha..
serious serious. no joke!
ok i rejected the sis' offer and was kinda felt guilty about it.
and maybe that was the reason of me being quite quiet at times.

and maybe because of me being quiet, BBY tend to entertain himself with his crappy lame jokes.
is he trying to cheer me up? hmmm.wait. am i down? yes? no? i dont know.

we did our 'last touch' at the woodlands garden.
ok its damn obvious that both of us were quite tired.
i almost dozed off!
BUT! its no need for BBY to be acting like one 'drunkard' la pls!
ok at first it was 'acceptable' and hilarious seeing him acting like that, cos' i understand him being sleepy or tired and all.
but he ended up entertaining himself again.
ok not that i dont have an insane sense of humour...BUT! it gets irritated sometimes and a bit of pissing me off... :(
sorry to say this BBY..but you kinda act a BIT typical.hmph
or maybe i was too tired to entertain you and thats the reason you acting like that.

i dont wanna create a huge deal about this.
but i dont know why am i pissed off with you.

sorry for the blank text replies
ok now then i understand the reason if you wanna get pissed off at me.

its up to you being ended with a girlfriend named Azah Vempira.
any regrets?

P.S. I LOVE YOU and i'm wearing your ETF shirt to sleep tonight.

*wtf! what a long boring post!!??

(no subject)

2009-10-19T00:33:00.002+08:00

ok so i got addicted with this malay song titled Hampa Hatiku by Ungu (ok, the lead singer is dead cute!)

i watched the music video and i kinda find it similar with Michael Jackson's music video's Remember The Time! hah!

here's the link:

Ungu - Hampa Hatiku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh1tDB36ReE

Michael Jackson - Remember The Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmR3coZdFUU

i'm not sure but the 'storyline' or the sequence of the video was kinda the same.
both were about this entertainer wanting to impress the queen or the princess.
the only difference was that Ungu's entertainer got caught while MJ's got chased but got escaped.
ohwells.

ok, i got nothing to talk about today.
basically, all i did today was just rotting.
and kept eating and sleeping.
gosh...bad bad!

and like finally i got myself a cheap earpiece.
i dont care how branded it is.
i just want to listen to my damn mp3! haha.

ok till here then.
adios.

P.S. I LOVE YOU.

random caption

2009-10-17T16:28:00.003+08:00

Silvera: bby, u pakai deo ke tak eh? bau mcm lain je..
Vempira: ehk? aiseyman.. *muke kantoi*

Vempira: b, asal tak tengok camera?
Silvera: i malu la b...
Vempira: ishk dier ni..k la i pun tanak tengok camera uh..kiter shy shy together k?

Vempira: ngantok ke b? i tgh take picture la ni!
Silvera: alar.. tak leh ar..da nak dozing off ni.. zzz...

Silvera: shit! i cant stop smelling you babe...
Vempira: damnit! should not have worn that perfume seh.. tgk la, i take picture pun u tanak tengok camera! hmph..

skip.

2009-10-17T15:31:00.002+08:00

i will be getting my first X grade for this week for Creative Concepts module.
yeap, azah skipped school again!

but this time, nope, i aint gonna waste my time when skipping school though..
cos' i spent my time with bby!
i had my adobe photoshop tutorials frm him yesterday.. cos' he kinda pro at it :D
we chilled out at macd, lot 1 library then....to esplanade!haha
and not to forget..our last touch of almost every dates..chinese garden..!

omg i love each day spent with bby
we are always full of random stuffs to talk about.
plus we got the same music interest which makes me love him more...

but but! bby almost made me laugh the whole day yesterday..
from the train to esplanade to train back from chinese garden..i'm like one insane girl kept laughing non-stop!
at least he made my day yesterday and cheered me up cos' i'm kinda down too..
(yup, the reason why i 'had' to skip school, lalala~~)

aites, till here then.
btw, i almost cried watching Angel on Channel 5 justnow..
:(

P.S. i love my Silvera BBY <3

Random

2009-10-16T01:19:00.004+08:00

ok i told bby i've got no inspiration and too lazy to blog but ohwells..

actually my mind just went totally random and i feel like doing these random stuffs;
- listening to jiwang one whole night and day
- cut and cry
- design on my scrapbook again
- watch porn?
- feel hated for 5 seconds

HAH! super kebabai random siol! :p

but seriously, so far i've achieved 1.
that is, listening to jiwang.

think i gotta agree with Bob that indeed i am jiwang.
oh damnit!

ok enough of the shitty talks.

i'm having mixed emotions now.

PMS? erm....not sure.

or izzit i'm turning into a BITCH who's trying to find fault with her Boyfriend..??

OH FUCK, i hate you, Azah, really.

sorry.

2009-10-14T00:41:00.002+08:00

OK I got it..

I know i'm a gf who is trying to find fault in love.

i'm sorry BBY

:(

Eighteen.

2009-10-10T23:59:00.003+08:00

lalalala~~
ok i dont know why i'm feeling so restless today..
i kept dozing off..erm..even when i'm sweeping the floor! (k dont ask me how :p )
i was about to text BBY to just cancel today's date..but ohwells..i feel the 'need' to meet him! *wink wink*

actually, i was supposed to be a BIT mad at him for cancelling a total last minute 'date' on friday.
but i cant be blaming him though since his mama kept asking him to follow her. oh damnit.

however, i cant be mad at him today cos you know why??
my BBY here has turned 18 today (10 october) larh seh! haha.
woah..dah abang-abang seh! (but still, 'immature' on the inside!! HAHAHA!)
k joking.

aites aites so he met me at cck platform and so we head to woodlands garden at around marsiling.
i cant be suggesting any further locations since i cant be back home too late (sorry bby..)

ok just fyi, i find so relaxed and peaceful in this relationship.
well at least less walking cos its just basically chilling with my loved one and enjoying nature! ;)

but 1 bad point about that place is about the CONDOMS!
ok they are seriously everywhere lurh.
its hard for us to sit on the grass there.
cos its like im seeing 'durex' here and there. TSK.
PLUS PLUS the mosquito and ants there were having a 'scandal' with BBY!
he got lovebites! and i got only like one..??!! tsk, hahaha!

ok so i decided to head home around 7 plus.
and i created 1 lameshit excuse of giving him his present, haha!
'b, i nak tgu orang da takde..tak suke ar turun abeh byk2 orang2..'
i dragged him to the last cabin and handed it to him.
its a shirt and a card i made specially for him. (i'll take pics of it to show you guys aites?)

well, yeap. there is a reason i did not want to give him the present earlier.
and the reason why i didnt let him to check my bag today.
and the reason to create the excuse for him not to send me home justnow.
hehehehehehe....

ok, adios for now.
sayonara readers! ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SILVERA BBY!
P.S. I LOVE YOU! ;)

a bit of catching up.

2009-10-07T23:41:00.003+08:00

its the 3rd day of school already and so far, ive had Entrepreneurship, Communication and Digital Media Arts modules.

Personally, i thought i had fun with Communication, but seriously, i find myself quite irony of playing a role as a parent with problematic teenagers but ohwell, i dont give a fucking care, haha!

and today's module, Digital Media Arts was quite fun. get the hold of the camera. SNAP SNAP SNAP! but then, not so much interest on the faci though. a "blur plus selenge"-looked kinda faci. oh DAMNIT! :p

and oh ya! ive got 2 things RANDOM to say:

ok first. I was too stupid this morning by buying myself a top-up prepaid card at Cheers that costs 30 bucks whereas some shops sell it at 25 to 28 bucks! tell me how asshole i could be.

ok another thing. I LOST MY LUCKY GREY UNDERWEAR! haha.. the damn underwear fall off my window sadly. stupid of me to be too violent with those undergarments. ok the 'best' thing was i cant find my underwear downstairs when i went searching with my niece. and guess where it was all the while? stuck on at level 4 or 5 aircon or something. damn, i was like 'haiz...there goes my lucky one..'

okay ppl, i think i lost the inspiration of what to type now, haha

and another final note to my SilveraBBY, i feel too honored for putting 'me' on your blogskin.
and i really wished i could spend the WHOLE day lying with you and being Naughty Gs.
ok the naughty one is you, not me! :p

im off.
P.S. i love you.

Stuck in love.

2009-10-04T15:45:00.003+08:00

lyrics from the song Stuck With Each Other by Shontelle and Akon.

all-time favourite and the lyrics are dedicated for you, BBY.
;)

You can - think you can get free, you think you won't need me
That you're gonna get you somethin better,
But you know that we're in this forever,
And you can - think you can walk out, even with your doubts,
But you know that we're in this together,
You can try to push me from you, nothing you do will keep us a part.

Cause it's too late, there's no escape, might as well face it,
Baby, we're stuck with each other (stuck with each other) - ain't nothin you can do about it,
It's been too long, it's been too strong - cause we belong here,
Baby, we're stuck with each other (stuck with each other)
- stuck in love with each other (stuck in love with each other)

Now I can say that I would not care, if you were not there,
Tell myself that I'll be fine without ya, but I would die if I was not around ya,
And I can try to convince you I don't need to be with you,
But my only thoughts are thoughts about ya,
What can I do, love is like glue. there's no way to... tear us a part.

There's nothing I'd rather do, than to sit with you forever -
Can't think of nothin better than to be stuck with you.

To my Silvera, i love you

2009-10-02T10:17:00.004+08:00

i thought that it was the most memorable date ever.
maybe i had finally realised theres actually someone who could prove to me, give me the chance to love and be loved again.

it all started when you said, "i know you have change and you will change"

*awkward silence*

i began thinking.
well, actually, i was thinking.

i did not get teary but my heart did.
i did not want to cry in front of you bby
i dont want to waste the precious time to be sad when i'm with you
i felt lucky that you accepted me from my pasts ;)

after that then i finally realised that i should treasure you.
and i love to to have the feeling of someone keep texting me and making me smile like a pisang (hehe!) on my own

chinese garden became our first 'port' to chill out.
and trust me, i've been longing to spend my time there with someone that i love
and letting out the love and affection
stayed there till the day gets dark
surrounded by beautiful lights of the lanterns of different colors

and when you whisper to me saying that you dont really loved me at first.
and you said that the love began to grow as i ignored you.

and yes, i feel the loss too.
when i asked you to move on and forget about me
and i thought you did.
i was like 'oh damnit, am i regretting or what?!'
till then i know that i love you.

until now.
thank you bby
i love you, Ridwan Silvera

~27 is the number <3

-.-

2009-09-30T23:47:00.002+08:00

I HAVE TO CRY TONIGHT.

BYE!

nak rest.

2009-09-28T21:54:00.003+08:00

ok, i hate wearing mask (random!)
accompanied mum to SGH to go for her eye check-up appointment.
omg. like i slept ard 2 plus and woke up ard 5 just for mummy..? tsk.
ohwells..
at least i get to skip house chores..heehee..
leave it all to my sis *evil grin*
arrived there around 8 plus and ends around 10
mum's fasting, so i cant slack out with her.damnit! (jahat per ni anak!?)
:P

kinda bored today, but at least i wanna rest at home today..
yea, after i went out almost 1 whole day with bby yesterday..
and fyi, i love being lost..
hahaha, k azah maintain.

k la..i'll end here.
will be out jalan raye tmr!
1st stop-MY HOUSE!
lalalalala~~~

simple one.

2009-09-28T00:23:00.003+08:00

ok i'm tooooo tired and sleepy to update..

just gonna say, I ENJOYED TODAY'S (DATE?) *wink wink*

lalalalalalala~~~~

I've go a lot to tell, but..

2009-09-26T00:08:00.004+08:00

2 things to tell that makes me 'happy':
- i've got menses!
- 'good' results for my modules

*WINK WINK*

i see people on facebook and blogs, posting their hari raya pictures.
i hear those 'ketupat, rendang....', '..ampun maaf di hari raya..' songs.
i noticed those families with same coloured raya clothes.
ohwell, its hari raya.

i dont see any point in this festive season of 'celebrating' with those kuehs, firecrackers, the new clothes..blablablabla..
(except for the duit raya of course) LOL.

you said you forgive me, BUT, you became the worst!
FUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

pardon me for the language.i'm so irritated with 'these' people around me.UGH

still, i gotta thank Ridwan for understanding and cheering me up.
Love ya baybeh! ;)

Shout out: EH SIAL, SLAMAT HARI RAYA EH?! THANKS FOR BEING MIA!!

Hand arts.

2009-09-23T01:37:00.017+08:00

~ By Azah Vempira

Day out before Hari Raya.

2009-09-19T01:12:00.005+08:00

like what i told ana - ive got mixed feelings to update my blog.
the feelings were like pissed plus no-idea plus irritated.
yea, ive got my own reasons for that.
and i'm not gonna blabber abt it here.
cos i dun want any unwanted assholes to be bitching around abt my blog.
get it? yes? no? whatever.

ok so today i went out to fareast with my beloved ana.
accompanied her to buy some hari raya stuffs for sis and her.
it was kinda hilarious when she texted me the day before to ask me out.
i changed my phone to my mum's one cos of some bitchy settings in my phone.
so its like i saved her number on phone instead of sim.
so yea.she was 'unknown' when she texted me the day before.
and coincidentally, i got her msg during my IG.haha..
so i was like 'sape dok ni org ajak aku g fareast?!' hahahahaha...

>>> can u spot us? hehe.

so i met her around 2.
seriously, i dont know whats with my mood that i got the sudden urge to dress up.LOL.
trust me, ana is the first babe to see me wearing an actual dress without my 'compulsory' skinny jeans.hahaha..
so i'm kinda looked feminine justnow sort of.hehe

we walked around fareast searching for 'that' flower clip.
nice flower, nice price.
huge flower, huge price.
hahahaha...
so we ended up browsing the clip at 'ok-i-forgot-whats-the-name' accessories shop.
she bought her 'flowers' and i bought a plain jade necklace, hehe
ana went to get her haircut too...nice baybeh!
noticed this guy......but....ok forget it, heehee :D

headed home around 5 plus.
and yea, something embarassing or funny happened.
well, let it just be between us, girls.
paisey :p

aites, i gotta wait for her pics then.hehe..

p.s. to mum: you dont trust me do you? BULLSHIT! you are just typical even though you kept denying you are one! oh fuck!

break record: i didnt break fast halfway when i went out justnow.haha
;)

:p

2009-09-15T23:21:00.002+08:00

OK I dont have any fucking idea why i changed my music playlist..

HAHA.. jiwang mode are beb..

:p

blindly inlove?

2009-09-14T22:45:00.004+08:00

sometimes we dont even know
we dont even notice
we dont even realised
we do not have the idea...
what is exactly happening.

we may sometimes have the full evidence. but does that even help? it gets harder when you are already loving the person. and it gets heartbreaking when it actually happens. i am so heartbroken and numb.

giving up

2009-09-11T02:15:00.002+08:00

let me cry for just one night please!!!???

Thank you, Son Of A Bitch.

Short and simple

2009-09-05T01:55:00.003+08:00

went to Geylang again to change my nephew's baju kurung and to find my sis' hari raya clothes.

helped my mum to bake hari raya cookies today.

ok, done.

i am missing someone.

BYE.

I dont give a damn anymore

2009-09-04T01:11:00.002+08:00

updates?

i dont bother to put in every detail of my post anymore..

lazy? maybe.

or maybe just too tired tolerating and handle those unwanted shits.
so for now, maybe i'll keep my posts short and simple..

so yea...like what i had expected, this year's fasting month and hari raya makes no difference.
ive not been fasting when im out.
haizs..i even buke before i went for my IG. oh god damnit.
but ohwells, i bought coke zero, and it really turns me on.
ok no link, i know.
haha

well, shopping for hari raya clothes has been draggy for me.
i went to geylang again on tuesday with my sis, her kids and my sis' fren's siblings.
however, i feel more enjoyed going with my sis rather than with my parents.
haha, parents...oh what can i say -.-

ok, so today.
i met up with my beloved gf.
omg.
people have their own problems..
i have mine, she have hers.
we shared everything and its all out from 2 plus to 5 plus justnow.
whatever our situation is, I Love you babe..
chill out yea..
;)

Letting all out

2009-09-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

ok, ive been keeping myself busy and stressing myself with complicated problems lately..
this may sound crap but i actually like to create my own problems..
make people pissed off with me for no reasons.
not tryna say that im creating haters, i dont gv a damn if people hate me but, i cant take it.
its like this is who i really am..?
i noe this sounds mean, but what can i say..?

let me tell you about my sunday.
well, sunday was my geylang moment.
yeap, duh. Hari raya shopping!!
i dknw why im so not looking forward to it, and yknow what, its like less shops caught my eye this year..damnit!
i got so bored of walking and choosing clothes for daddy, so i texted him.
alamak sori bie if i disturb u working...hehehe...
hah! he kept asking me "caner bie? best rounding geylang?"
best? best sgt la tuu... :p
and yeah, wats geylang if theres no such 'that' malay teenage human beings..
u guys shud know who i was referring to..
well, if u dun, then keep figuring it out la eh!

ok tuesday, which is tmr, supposed to accompanied sis to geylang again..
but someting came up..
no details..*private and confidential* haha.

aites, guess thats it then..
will update soon aites!

(i'm so used to fake assumptions...so assume and label me for what i care! bitches have their own flaws!)

syg i nak jumpe pukimak??
takpe bie..
i ade you, i tak gertak la eh!