The Life that is Full of Random and Curiosity

My BLOG just reflects the OTHER SIDE of me
Out of ANGER, SADNESS or DAILY HAPPENINGS
My BLOG, My SAY.

Sunday, February 21, 2010 @ 6:50 PM

Best friends?

i've got to be frank..
i'm feeling sad
wait.no.
i'm feeling pissed off
wait.no.
i'm feeling bored.

ok whatever.
just feeling confused.

i was browsing through blogs, tumblrs, twitters (which ive not been updating for so long.)

all i could do was to sigh.

i'm not jealoused.no.
strictly no.

why do i feel jealous for right?

i'm just abit pissed off with myself.
or to her (not gonna mention the name)

rewinding back to the pasts.
yes.i may be a bitch.

i knew she must have said that i may be flirting with her crush.
and at one point of time, i went steady with her another crush too.

i knew.
she told our friends that she was going to make me feel guilty for doing that.

and i was waiting for the moment.
tik tok tik tok ( eh bukan lagu keisha laa...)

erm nope. no sign of guilty alert.
instead, she apologized to me.
ok, forgiven.

like what people would say.
let bygones be bygones.
buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih.

and let me emphasize that.
B-U-A-N-G!
and
Bygones means;
past: existing or having happened a long time ago

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

ok its the past girl.
oh please.

ok i understood that you might need to confide to other friends instead of me.
ok i dont care about that.

but whats with the 'eh aku takot ar kalau azah nampak'
ok tell me what was that for?

what if i saw?
i'm gonna kill you?
haunt you?

and you know me well enough. (do you?)
that i'm quite an expert at knowing these news.
dont ask.
whatever.

besides..
girl..
i'm already ATTACHED.
let me spell this A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D
what?
you think i'm gonna scratch back the past and 'FLIRT' with that guy AGAIN?
no way!

i'm not that type of person okay.

and i'm not the type of person who patched back in a relationship.

but i do still in o-k terms with my exes.

dont believe?
i'm still friends/in contact/good terms with Hizran, Ridwan, Theo...
also to my other jerks...whoever they are(not gonna mention)..
i forgived them in such a way that i dont really bother about their life anymore.
voila~! they even got new girlfriends anyway!
but no. i dint bitch about them anymore right!

so i still dont get it girl.

when i met you in school, we hugged like we have not met for a long time.
but i'm the one always coming up with the 'topics'
trying to crack up lame jokes about 'mambangs..'
and blablablabla...

wait. are we even bestfriends still?
are you being secretive?

like what i mentioned above.
i understand if you prefer to confide to other friends.

but if we were bestfriends, is it even wrong to tell me?
you could just NOT mention that it was your problem..maybe i could help.
cos' we ARE friends.

we have been together since secondary school.
and now we are schooling in the same Poly.

i rarely even see you.
cos both of us been busy with our own stuffs.

we only went out chillax once in 2010.
but you seemed awkward telling about your updates.

you see..
do i even feel shy telling about my boyfriend.
and also, i'm not being selfish by talking about myself.
but i also asked about you too..
and i did listen.
like what i did when i went out with our girl friend whom you prefer to confide to.

sigh.
its okay darl.

i guess i have to play hide-and-seek with my feelings again.

yup.
the type when i will smile when i meet you.
but deep inside, all i could is to just S-I-G-H.

sigh.
label me as a bad girl
i dont care.

or you can just scrub my name off from you BEST FRIENDS list.

i dont mind.

bby. i really need you.
i got no shoulder to 'cry' on.
think i just have to find you photograph and imagine myself talking to you.
or i could sleep wearing your t-shirt on.
i miss you.
sigh.