The Life that is Full of Random and Curiosity

My BLOG just reflects the OTHER SIDE of me
Out of ANGER, SADNESS or DAILY HAPPENINGS
My BLOG, My SAY.

Thursday, December 31, 2009 @ 7:23 PM

2010?

hello 2010..but goodbye 2009?

sigh. i really wished that i could turn back time. if only we have the power to do that. if only i have the power to rewind the clock, the calendar to 1st of January of 2009....things would be WAYYYYYY different...

in 2009...

i experienced the least taste of teenage love affairs
i knew guys who love me for lust and affection
i knew guys who love me for sincerity
i experienced situation that makes me very embarrassed as a 17 year old ******
i knew the consequences of skipping classes
i knew the consequences of being on partial in school
i regretted skipping lessons for some shitty reasons

also in 2009..

i knew i had changed
i changed from bad to worst
i gave in myself way too easily
i was uncontrolled by situations
i lost focus on my own well-being
i was too dumb and gullible to believe these fuckers
and i ended up crying and regretting
but yet, still remembering this particular guy who had caused everything that started
and then, my friends are now having this impression of me being someone who dont really care for whoever new friends that i got to know
SIGH.

so here i am, being a normal person who makes mistakes..
trying to fix things right.
hoping that i wont be hurt, get hurt or continue hurting people that i really love and care.

therefore..in 2010
i have this simple random resolutions in mind.
I WANT TO CHANGE
I HAVE TO CHANGE
but i have dumb questions that keeps bugging me inside my head.
" HOW DO I CHANGE? "

well..
i have to take a break/pause in life
i have to reflect the things that i have regret
so,
i know i have to reduce skipping classes.
maybe some partialling should be ok (hehe!)
not to believe or being too gullible towards the unknown species..

so basically, i do not have fixed resolutions for 2010..
i just hoped for the best in my life in the future.

and yes, im also looking forward to be "non-illegal"

P.S. :
Matiin, thanks for inviting me to the pit. i had fun and nice knowing your friends.HAHA! i know they are full of crappy stuffs to joke about. :P
special thanks to the 4 lovely guys(incl.YOU!) for travelling such long distance from east coast to CCK to send me home. HOW SWEET!(yea i know travelling to cck is like goin to one other end from your home but what do i care for ur Hotwitch. :P
thanks again! ;)