Out of ANGER, SADNESS or DAILY HAPPENINGS
My BLOG, My SAY.
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Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 9:22 AM
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@ 5:10 AM
Geram sak!
Kimak dok! had a sudden urge to 'visit' that girl's blog. eh. nak kate instict kepe? cos i sensed something is never right happening. k meh sini aku story-telling; k, i went out with him during the weekends. duh! confirm sunday aku da chao ngan dier. he told me 'k, i will kol u tonite' aku adelah selenge g tunggu dier nyer kol. k fine. paitao kol takpe ar. tod he was gonna kol on the following days. k guess what? ari wednesday aru nak kol?! eh sial! kau pikir aku ni pompan simpanan pe? kau da pakai aku abeh buang ar? da kol tu takpe...abeh complain sakit perut! eh asl? asl telefon aku, step sakit pe!? ingat aku ni bodoh sangat nak percaye pe? g cibai la ey! same excuses..da basi la cibai! so i just let him off like dat....'feelingless' (takde perasaan la dok! in case those yg slow giler babi nak tangkap ni word) so today, tibe niat ni nak 'melawat' pompan tu nyer blog. "alamak sweet or what?!" kate he was at her house...poke2 her la...whatever la... kkk....let me get this straight. for now, im not blaming her. maybe pompan tu tak tahu laki dier buat tahi blakang dier la ey. tapi kalau dier tahu pun, nasib ar, aku tanak tahu punn.. siak betol buat prangai sak lelaki ni. prangai mintak kene fucked! confirm kepale otak dier byk lagi pmpan in counting. kesian kat matair dier nyg setia mampos tu? ntah ey! SIOT! abeh aku? ingat aku mcm pompan nye pad Kotex pe? da pakai puas-puas...da kotor...abeh buang satu corner-? eh kalau aku tahu prangai kau mcm sial gini, eh tak ingin sak aku nak main ngan kau! kau tahu tak? pasal kau kan? prangai aku mcm sial sak skg. nak count on a guy lagi satu ni pun, nak take advantage jugak. pasal kau kan, aku da start post prangai mcm cibai kat blog ni! eh betul bingit sak aku ngan kau! da tak ingin la aku nak panggil kau 'b....i....u.....' panggil kau babi lagi baik ar! eh sesuai dok! prangai pun same!! maybe kau leh g kandang babi tu...main ngan matair kau tu..due2 dapat swine flu! eh kimak! aku da tak kesah la sial! so, im promising to myself.... this weekend or weekdays he kol, aku confirm da takleh tahan sak nak bobal cibai! eh air mata ni da byk kuar pasal kau dok! jgn step tak tahu la ey.. kawan kau yg pakai/main/gune baju2 tu sume....dua kali lima dol cibai. sume cover2 pasal prangai kau yg mcm sial.. buto ar kau. you were never boyfriend. Bear that in mine, ASSHOLE! |
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Monday, June 22, 2009 @ 5:32 AM
Confessed?
When i think about it, i dont really understand why life is never fair. and why karma exists in this life. people adviced - it'll be the matter whether people accept it or not OR that particular person will commit the same crime. So....why people still bother to advise? in this current situation, i really dont need advices. cos i'm too used to it. all i need is explanation and understanding. oh yes, i agreed. i used to be the 'pauto' gerl. dats because u had never informed me that you were goin overnite or something. if u had told me last time, i wouldnt ask u where you've been and i dont gave a fucking care to go blabber to parents. now since you came out of the cage. everything seemed to change. they are both for the better and the worse. the better person that now has given trust to the loved ones. the worse as i dont have an understanding sister anymore. i knew she must be thinking that she should care for the sister. but cant she give her space to breathe?? ohwells..i cant say anything much. i admitted that i, myself had changed for the worse. dont blame the poly cos it never influenced me.. but i gotta blame myself for this.. from the old-decent-innocent azah....to a new-overshot-un'v' bitch. fuck.why?? it doesnt happen neither on saturday nor sunday or whatever. should i regret this change? i dont know how peopole can accept this fact. and now, im just putting hopes on certain people for me to tell my probs and secrets to.. people whom i trust the most. oh gawd. i just dont know how to bring back the memories of me sharing things with my beloved sister. its either they changed or i had gone worse that they dont trust me anymore. sigh. i dont know whom to trust or who is THAT open-minded about my current situation now. ~~I love my SEX.fuck. |
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Saturday, June 20, 2009 @ 9:18 AM
After almost a week
Alright, i realised that i've been posting after almost 1 week.
why? laziness... yup, admitted that i've became lazier than ever. ohwells, this was what i did 'last summer' ; Monday: watched Drag Me To Hell with my old skool mate, Pritpal. went to meet him straight after school at woodlands control station then headed to buy tix. slacked outside after that and ohmy, everything just spits out! sigh. kinda relief of what i had told him, at least at this moment, i felt that i am still dumb and i know that i am not on a safe 'side' now. dangs! enough of it. well, the movie was good. must-watch? maybe for some. he said the ending part was stupid but i felt that it was ok. its not scary but theres shocking scenes though. :) Tuesday: school was OK. no comments! since Natt had her dance practice that day, i decided to go home with Mai and Nurul. bought school's wafer-Chocolate and Cheese. ohmy! i was totally fucking full after eating that mann... :p took train with Nurul as Mai decide to take the bus. spitted out the same thing to her.. and overall, it seemed that i'm still dumb!! hmph! Wednesday: had a bad fucking stomach cramp on the way to school. was about to text Natt to go ahead first but my mind suddenly to think about the cognitive re-UT and BE. ohwell, i have no choice but to go school anyway. at first thought of going to school just for the UT and ig but yea..i dknow why the heck i'm still enthu to head for class, haha. cognitive re-UT was OK. was do-able except that i was in a rush answering the last few answers. Fariz texted me what time was the UT. well, tod he'll came but as usual...NOT! hah :p rushed for BE prac. glad that we were not late after all so yea..took the instruments and head down to the conference room for prac were briefed about the upcoming Reflections 2009 on November and i'm kinda excited plus nervous about it! hehe. were splitted into groups with the seniors. there are Fiqah(sp?), Saihah, Azierah,(sp?), Bob and David -my favourite guyfrens! haha. plus the seniors, cant remember the names though, LOL. it was fun and a bit tiring playing the snare and somehow, my arms kinda aching now :( supposed to meet Pritpal but he could not make it for some reason so i headed home with David ;) it was sweet of him to help me to avoid the 'random girl', haha. sigh. Thursday: 'Sick?' hehe did not came to school on this day. started of with a stomach cramp and ended up slacking at home although i already felt all better.haha module was kinda boring, so somehow don't bother. just 1 day of absence, so no big deal :) slacked at home till ard 3 plus before deciding to meet my sex at around 4. was told to meet at Eunos. called him after arrived at City Hall and he then asked me to meet near his house cos of his dumb ez-link. oh fuck. arrived at his bustop around 6 plus to 7. met up with his 2 dudes. ohWTF. slacked and i can already sensed that something is pissing me off. he's kinda dumb to realised that i'm hinting about it but...whatever. decided to get going around 8 plus but too bad, he dragged to the carpark and dangs! its already 9 plus!!! nooo... reached home around 1130..nagged? nah... just a 'dont-be-home-so-late' advice kinda thing. Friday: Programming! my favourite Mr Bean! really. but oh dangs! changed group and learned a damn stupid unknown thing. so i escaped class halfway and went to sis' Azalea's house.hehe chilled there till 7 plus till bro-in-law sent me home. haiyo. i just felt that i've wasted my day.haha whatever. ok, thats it. today parent went off to Batam. looking forward to my sex. well, no choice la ey. if he paitao, he'll know whats gonna happen next. |
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Thursday, June 11, 2009 @ 10:22 PM
Home Get-out!
I know crying for a guy is useless... I will let it all out tonight Darling, i cannot control any longer cos' you are my one and only ASSHOLE JERK! |
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009 @ 3:15 PM
Chill out
watched this movie at Lot 1 cinema with gf Eda yesterday. been looking forward to watch it, dont know why.. weird ryte..? haha. well, overall, its a good show to be watched with family and friends. i almost cried watching the part when she sang The Climb. verrryyy touching...! ;) got outta house around 110 and i'm confident that i'm gonna be super duper late. met Eda at the cinema level. and oops! a moment of embarrassment happened! shhh.... she knows, i know ok... ;) got in just in time and headed to MacD after that. met Ain there as well, chatted awhile before heading to the 'SkyPark'.. seriously, i really wanna try out the 'water playground'..but i dont seemed to have the mood. although i may looked happy and cheerful but something in me that do not seemed right. so i offered myself to take care of Eda's and Ain's bags while they go ahead and play. met Natt there too. had a great time having my girlfriends by my side..awww... ohwells, i've been dragged by Eda to go to the playground.. haha..oh what can i say, theres a kid in me..hahahaha gonna wait to grab some pics by Eda soon ryte... till here i'm gonna update. P.S. i dont care how gay Adam Lambert is, he still gonna be in my heart..awww... and damn! his boyfriend is a HOT HOT stuff!! i loike! |
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Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 7:01 PM
Just a sip of coffee...
omg omg omg! now i'm like so addicted to the slow and 'jiwang' love songs lurh sey!!?? dangs! i dont know what has gotten into my sicko mind. so now, im currently listening to songs while sipping a hot white coffee with a hazelnut flavor. (slurp!). i had been facing the laptop screen for almost the whole day. i had been facebooking, chat and chat and chat. yup, nothing much. well, it may sounded like 'nothing much'..but! those conversations today are precious ones. chatted with hizran justnow. well, he just got back from KL i think. things were neutral at first. but it was a bit shaky in the end. i think it was because of me (again?)... oh fuck. who could not have been frustrated when an ex kept asking about my bf? at first, i was able to control it, thinking that it was some kinda joke.. but when he began saying this and asking that....i began to get a bit agitated. i dont meant to get pissed at him. but whats the point asking? any benefits gained? or was he just tryna make me feel guilty for the break-up? hinting my retribution?? come on man...if he was in my situation, he'll understand. i will not be senstive if im living a happy relationship now, but..he knows my relationship is at loss and yet he seemed to find fault in me. look, i admit that i still cant forget about you. but i am trying and i think i have learned to move on. oh gosh..why must this get so complicated? oh fuck. you are making me more at loss now.sigh.. whatever it is, i'm leaving all at fate. ~When I'm much too far away We all need that person who can be true to you~ (Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God) |
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Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 5:27 PM
Exclamation mark
Love sick? think so. Random: I love Izuan being a metrosexual guy. |
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Wednesday, June 03, 2009 @ 8:42 PM
Giving in...
I'm supposed to blog about my 'happy' day today. but something screwed up in the end. Just wanna say: " YOU CHANGED TOTALLY... AND JUST TELL ME IF YOU REGRET TAKING ME AS YOUR BELOVED! " i'm just so used to guys who are acting like jerks... ~ I wanna get myself drunk and got into an accident, I wanna smoked as much as i can and shorten my life, I wanna be faithful BUT things kept getting fucked up~ A retribution. |
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Tuesday, June 02, 2009 @ 6:11 AM
Until The End
So clever, Whatever, I'm done with these endeavors. Alone I walk the winding way. (Here I stay) It's over, No longer, I feel it growing stronger. I'll live to die another day, Until I fade away. [Chorus:] Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate. It's not enough, it never is. But I will go on until the end. Surround me, It's easy To fall apart completely. I feel you creeping up again. (In my head) It's over, No longer, I feel it growing colder. I knew this day would come to end, So let this life begin. [Chorus] I've lost my way. I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end. Living is hard enough Without you fucking up. [Chorus] I've lost my way. I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end. U-uh, u-uh The final fight I'll win, The final fight I'll win, The final fight I'll win, But I will go on until the end. |
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Monday, June 01, 2009 @ 5:58 PM
-No words-
I just dont know how to describe this kind of attitude. "Tell your beloved friend that next time if he dont wanna meet his girlfriend, tell her earlier since he knows that he stay further away..dont PAITAO! k thx" surely this text seems familiar to some of your friends. sigh..i just dont know what do you want in me... Love is TOO blind and its IRRITATING.. |
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