As it strikes 12, my heart starts beating quite hard...

Am I nervous?

Am I excited?

Nah…

As usual….there is not much difference of celebrating someone who had turned 1 year older from the previous year.

When I came to think about it, it starts to make sense though.

It’s just that you are getting older, that’s all…

What is there to be happy about?

Because when you get old, soon you will die, right?

And this year, Hatreziee welcomed herself with a big surprise on-coming her birthday…

I felt disappointed, broken, still

How do you feel when your father vented anger on you and simply talked about things that are so sensitive and illogical!?

Must he really say that?

I knew that he do not want to create any conversation with me still, so as to be safe- not to get each of us back into an argument again.

Well, if that is the way he wanted, fine. I’ll feel the same way too then.

But why must it be during the days before my birthday?

That was why I realised that I do not usually feel the same way as what a 17-going-to-be girl felt during her birthday.

There will surely be at least 1 incident that will happen to destroy everything.

But why??

Now it seems that I am fucking invisible in his eyes.

Or he would either talk to me through a conversation with my mum or my sister.

Will these days get any worse?

Sigh… maybe it is just the fate of being old…

*I’m here without you baby…*